Building Bridges
by Bodge
Summary: It's been almost 10 years since Shelby Corcoran walked away from her daughter when a chance meeting in a supermarket reveals that Rachel's life has not quite gone the way she planned it to. Will she and Shelby be able to put the past behind them, or is it too little too late?
1. Chapter 1

I haven't written fic in a long time, I haven't written Glee fic in even longer, but I've been binge watching since it was put on netflix, and I've decided to pick up a few of my old fics, but I also found this on my hard drive, I quite liked the idea when I started writing it so I thought I'd post a bit here to see if anyone would be interested in reading it!

* * *

"Phee, come back here please." Shelby watched as the young brunette struggled to control one of her children, there was a small child looking like they were about to throw a tantrum by the sweets, a young toddler no more than three years old stood holding onto the side of a double buggy with a tatty pink bunny held tightly to her chest, and another child strapped into a sling on the woman's chest. "Phoebe, unless you want to go straight to bed when we get in I suggest you get back over here before I count to three, one, two. . ."

"I want chocolate" the young girl yelled.

"Phoebe" the woman sighed, "we're not getting chocolate today."

"I want chocolate mommy."

"I haven't got enough money for chocolate" the woman tried to explain to the child.

"Daddy buys me chocolate."

"Daddy's not here Phoebe, now come on we'll have dinner as soon as we get home, I might be able to afford some biscuits or something but I really need to buy diapers and milk."

"Mommmmmy" the girl Shelby now knew to be called Phoebe whined.

"This is the last time I'm telling you Phoebe, you either come now or I leave you here" the woman said as she began to walk away slowly.

"No, Mommy please don't leave me here." The young girl threw herself to the floor.

"Come on then" the young woman snapped, turning to her child.

Shelby gasped, "Rachel?" She began to walk towards her daughter who was now heading towards the checkout with all her children. "Rachel" she repeated as she got closer to the woman, "Rachel" she laid her hand on the woman's shoulder after she got no response.

Rachel turned and came face to face with her mother for the first time in almost ten years and was shocked for a brief moment before putting on her show face, "I'm sorry" she said politely, "I think you must be mistaking me for someone else."

"Rachel, it's me, Shelby." Shelby was 110% the woman in front of her was her daughter, and she was worried, although her children looked well fed and were clean and tidy, well as clean and tidy as you could expect a child to look, Rachel looked to be nothing but skin and bones, her clothes hung from her small frame and her hair, although still long looked lank and dull and had been pulled back into a messy ponytail. The woman in front of her was nothing like the sixteen year old girl Shelby had last known, she looked exhausted and the sparkle had gone from her eyes.

"I'm sorry" Rachel repeated, "I don't know anyone called Rachel or Shelby, Phee, Abi, come on" she made sure she had both her children before walking away and leaving Shelby stood in shock.

Shelby didn't sleep that night, she knew Hiram and Leroy had both been killed in a car accident just shortly after Rachel had moved to New York, but she had no idea that she'd moved back to Ohio or had several children. Shelby couldn't understand it, she assumed that Hiram and Leroy were the type of people who would have left Rachel a large inheritance yet the young mother was obviously struggling to make ends meet. It didn't take long for her to find an address, for a small fee she was able to find just one 'Rachel Berry' listed on the local electoral roll at an address Shelby knew wasn't in a nice part of town.

Rachel didn't get much sleep either, 7 week old Jacob had woken at 2am for a feed, his loud cries waking not only his twin but his three sisters too. Rachel carried the babies through to the living room, setting them both down in bouncer chairs and leaving them crying as she walked sleepily into the kitchen to warm up three bottles.

She tested all three bottles on her wrist before carrying them from the kitchen, leaving the two smaller ones on the living room floor beside the crying babies and taking the larger bottle through to the girl's room, handing it to her youngest daughter and tucking her back into her cot.

"Momma" Phoebe yawned, "will you read to us?"

Rachel nodded, "I need to feed your brothers, but once they're settled I'll read to you and Bekah."

"Kay Momma" the 4 year nodded, "we'll wait."

Rachel kissed them both and told them she'd be as quick as she could before making her way back to the living room and sitting herself down on the floor in front of the bouncer chairs to feed both babies at the same time.

As usual Jacob drained his bottle before Seth was half finished, allowing Rachel to wind him across her lap while Seth finished his milk, settling him back in the bouncer chair once she'd done so she could wind his brother.

Once the boys were tucked up together in their shared cot Rachel went to read the girls their story, only to find Rebekah sprawled out in her own cot, empty bottle against the bars where it had fallen from her hand and Abigail curled into her older sister as they too slept soundly in a bed covered in books.

She put the books back on the bookshelf and took the bottle from Rebekah's cot, kissing all three girls and whispering that she loved them as she tucked them in and finally made her way back to her own bed. She took a moment to check on her babies before slipping under the covers. As always, Jacob and Seth had become intertwined in their sleep, Rachel having discovered shortly after they'd been born that they slept better when they were together, it was hard to tell where Seth ended and Jacob began and Rachel was pretty sure the fingers in Jacob's mouth weren't his own.

Never in a million years had Rachel expected to be a single mother to five children before she turned 25, her stomach rumbled as she rolled over in bed, trying to get comfortable on the paper thin mattress. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a proper meal, she was more concerned with using the little money she had to feed and clothe her ever growing children than herself and she cursed quietly, trying to will herself to fall asleep again. Her mind kept drifting back to the encounter with Shelby that afternoon. She used a supermarket almost 30 minutes from her home to ensure she wouldn't meet anyone from 'before' and she ran into her mother. She could only hope she'd managed to convince Shelby that she wasn't Rachel Berry, because she wasn't any more, at least she wasn't the same Rachel Berry that she'd been at 16.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm glad so many people liked chapter one, I'm quite enjoying writing it!

I have a vague idea of where I'm going to take it, but if you have any ideas, or there's anything you'd like to see, please feel free to share and I'll do my best to work them in!

* * *

Shelby sat in a cafe close to Rachel's house for almost three hours the next day until she confirmed it was the right house when she saw Rachel leave the house with her children. Shelby knew she had to be quick. She waited until Rachel rounded the corner at the end of the street before quickly placing an envelope containing 200 dollars into the mailbox and leaving.

Rachel was confused, every couple of days for three weeks she'd come home to envelopes of money now totalling almost a thousand dollars and almost 100 dollars in walmart gift cards. There was nothing special about the envelope, no return address, not even her own address, just 'Rachel' printed neatly on the front in black ink. She'd noticed the envelopes only appeared when she was out so she hadn't left the house in four days, but there had been no more envelopes and Rachel was almost out of diapers. "Abi, Phee, can you get your shoes and coats please, we have to go out" she called as she got Rebekah and the twins ready to go out.

"Can we go to the park?" Abigail asked softly as she gave Rachel her shoes and pink jacket before climbing onto the sofa beside her mother.

Rachel kissed Abigail's head. Although she had five children with three different fathers Abigail, with her dark skin and wild corkscrew curls was the only one you could tell had a different father just by looking at her, "of course we can baby, we need to get some diapers but we can go to the park on the way back okay?"

"I don't want to walk." Rachel found it hard, with three children under two Abigail frequently had to walk longer distances than her little legs could manage.

"Okay" Rachel smiled, "you can ride in the buggy" luckily the twins were still so small they could both fit into one seat of the buggy meaning that when Abigail was tired Rachel could move Rebekah into the sling and give Abigail a break. Rachel was just about to call Phoebe again when there was a loud knock at the door. "Phee" she called as she moved to answer, "shoes and coat please, we're going to the park on the way home but only if you're ready soon."

"Rachel Berry?" A delivery woman asked as Rachel opened the door and Rachel nodded, "I've got a parcel that needs signing for."

"I'm sorry, you must be mistaken I'm not expecting anything" Rachel said politely.

The delivery woman frowned and checked the address on the large box she held in her hands, "you're Miss Rachel Berry?" Rachel nodded, "and this is number 1253?" Rachel nodded again, "then it's for you, so if you'd just like to sign by the x" she put the box down and passed Rachel her clipboard, "you can get it open and see who's sending you parcels" the woman smiled.

Rachel took the box into the living room once she'd thanked the delivery driver to find Phoebe sat on the sofa, her shoes on her feet she waited for Rachel to tie her laces, "What's that Momma?" she asked, her head tilting to one side inquisitively.

"I don't know" Rachel admitted, "I'm just going to open it and find out." She opened the large box to find a note on top and she thought she might finally find out who had been leaving her the money, but she was wrong. 'I know you'll say you're fine on your own but I want to help you Rachel.' There was no name but a phone number had been printed underneath the message and Rachel slipped the note into her pocket, she knew there was a payphone near the park, she'd ring the number later.

"Oh, Momma look." By the time Rachel had read the note Phoebe and Abigail had already began rummaging through the box.

"Oh my" Rachel gasped, the box was full of clothes, the majority with the labels still on. Phoebe was currently holding a tiny t shirt with a robot on obviously intended for one of the twins and Abigail had a pair of pink flowery pyjamas in her hands.

"Are these for us?" Phoebe asked.

Rachel nodded, still in shock at the amount of clothes, "I guess so baby."

"Who's they from?" Phoebe still had her head in the box as she questioned her Mom.

"I don't know Phee." The young girl finally emerged from the box allowing Rachel to empty it completely, there were coats, shoes, underwear, it was almost as if someone had gone into a children's clothes shop and emptied the shelves. Rachel noticed that there while the boys clothing was for newborn to one year old, the girls clothes started at 18 months and went right the way through to six years, similarly there were several different sizes of shoes. Whoever had sent the parcel obviously didn't know Rachel and her children well enough to know what size they were. Rachel instantly thought of Shelby as she had every time another envelope had appeared but, like always, she quickly dismissed that idea, Shelby had told her almost ten years ago that they were never going to have a relationship. There was no way she'd do this. "Come on" Rachel finally broke the silence, "let's go buy some diapers so we can get to the park before it gets dark. We can look through these when we get home."

Rachel's day only got better when she got to the store and found both sizes of diapers that she needed were on offer and she was able to buy her eldest three children, and herself, a bar of chocolate with the money she saved, something that was a rare treat for both Rachel and her children.

She sat on a bench in the park watching as Phoebe took charge of Rebekah and Abigail, in some ways her eldest daughter reminded her of Santana Lopez, she could be stroppy and stubborn sometimes but she was fiercely protective of the people she loved, and, as her children played happily, Rachel allowed her mind to wander back to her Glee club days, wondering what the friends she'd lost touch with were doing now.

After running wildly for almost half an hour, Rebekah returned to the safety of her mother's arms where she promptly fell asleep, another fifteen minutes and Abigail too had had enough and climbed wearily back into the buggy and closed her eyes. Rachel gave Phoebe another ten minutes before calling her from the climbing frame. The young girl threw herself head first down the slide before running over to Rachel, "I love you Momma" she grinned wrapping her arms around her mother's hips.

Rachel smiled back and ruffled her hair, "I love you too baby."

She stopped at the payphone on her way home, she knew she had enough change for a short phone call but she wasn't sure if she even wanted to know who had been sending her the money and gifts. Her fingers shook as she pulled the crumpled note from the pocket of her jeans and dialled the number, and after a long wait for the person to answer the phone her suspicions were confirmed, "Shelby Corcoran". Rachel seemed to lose the ability to form a coherent sentence, "hello is anybody there?"

"Erm, it's Rachel" she finally managed to stutter.

"I didn't know if you'd call" Shelby said truthfully, "I'm glad you did."

There was another long pause before Rachel spoke again, "it, it's too much, the money, the gifts, you need to take it back."

"I want to help you Rachel."

"It's too much" Rachel repeated. "I, you..." she took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second, "why? I mean why now, why do you want to help me now?"

"I thought you were in New York doing all kinds of amazing things." Shelby confessed, "I didn't know you were back in Ohio, when I saw you in the supermarket, you've lost so much weight Rachel. I'm worried about you."

"I'm coping just fine thank you."

"How many children do you have?" Shelby asked softly.

Rachel glanced outside the phone box to where Phoebe was sat on a grassy bank beside the buggy with Rebekah curled into her, "five"

"That can't be easy."

Rachel shook her head, "they have their moments" Shelby's voice was so calm and caring Rachel couldn't help but feel her eyes fill with tears.

"Can I come and see you?" Shelby asked

"I, I've got five children, my house is always a mess."

"I don't mind."

"When?"

"Whenever is best for you, I'm self employed so I can fit things around you." Rachel sighed, part of her wanted to meet Shelby but part of her was worried that Shelby would walk out on her grandchildren the way she'd walked out on Rachel. "Rachel are you still there?"

"Yeah. it's just, I don't want you to upset my kids, I don't want them to get used to you if you're going to walk away in a couple of months."

It was Shelby's turn to sigh, "lets see how things go when we meet up and take it from there."

Rachel nodded to herself, "I don't think we're doing anything tomorrow or is that too soon?"

"No" Shelby was quick to answer, "it's not too soon, I have a couple of appointments in the morning, it's a bit late to try and reschedule now, but I'm free after lunch, I could come about 2?"

"That's fine"

Shelby couldn't help but smile, "I'll see you tomorrow then, is this your number?"

"No, I don't have a phone, I'm in a phone box."

"Okay. Well I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah" Rachel smiled slightly, I'll see you tomorrow." She went to hang up the phone but heard Shelby call her name. "Yeah?"

"Take care Rachel." Shelby ended the call before Rachel had chance to reply, she'd been so close to telling her daughter that she loved her but she'd chickened out at the last minute promising herself she'd do it when they were face to face.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the delay in updating, but real life has been crazy, I'll try not to leave it so long before uploading the next chapter!

* * *

Rachel tucked her children into bed that night before beginning to clean the house from top to bottom, she'd already tidied the girl's bedroom that evening, allowing her daughters to watch a DVD before bed to keep them out of their bedroom, her bedroom was pretty tidy anyway as was the bathroom. That just left the living room and an endless pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen. She started with the things she had to do anyway, loading the washing machine and filling the sterilizer with used baby bottles. It was almost midnight when Rachel climbed into bed satisfied her house was ready for Shelby to visit, she just hoped the girls didn't make too much of a mess in the morning.

It was a little after two when Shelby arrived the next afternoon, Phoebe and Abigail were playing on the swingset in the back yard when the knock came at the door. "Hi." Rachel didn't know what else to say.

"I didn't know if you'd eaten" Shelby held up a couple of bags, I bought takeout, I got pasta, there's some vegan pasta with roast vegetables for you and some mac and cheese and plain tomato stuff for the kids, you can warm it up later if you've already eaten." Shelby rambled much like her daughter when she was nervous.

"Thank you" Rachel took the bags from her mother, "Rebekah fell asleep before I made lunch, I'll warm some up for her when she wakes up. Would you like to come in?" Shelby stepped into the house and slipped off her shoes and coat, "I can give you a tour of the house if you like, there's not really much to show but. . ." she didn't know what to say to Shelby.

"That would be good." Shelby followed Rachel into the living room where she placed her coat and bag on the arm of the sofa.

"This is the living room obviously" Rachel told her, "and that's Jacob and Seth" she gestured to the two babies laid on a large blanket under a play bar, both trying to grab at the toys dangling above their heads, "they're 11, almost 12 weeks old and yes they're identical but Jacob has a freckle on his left cheek that Seth doesn't have. She then walked into the kitchen and placed the bags of food on the counter, "this is the kitchen" she pointed into the garden, "the one on the swing is Phoebe, she's 5 in a couple of weeks and Abigail's by the slide, she'll be three next month. She took Shelby down the hall, "bathroom" she pointed to the door but didn't bother taking Shelby in, "my room" she pushed the door open and Shelby was shocked by the size of the room, her own wardrobe was almost as big as the bedroom. A small single bed was pushed into a corner, there was a cot by the window and a chest of drawers with a changing mat on top took up the rest of the room. "The boys only sleep when they're together" Rachel told Shelby, "which is lucky because I don't know where I'd put a second cot." She led Shelby into the second bedroom, the final stop on the tour. "This is the girls room" she told Shelby, the walls were painted a pale pink and although it was slightly larger than Rachel's room it was still small. There was a bed on either side of the room and a cot in between them, with a small girl sprawled out across the mattress, her covers kicked off at the bottom of the cot and her mouth wide open as she snored loudly, "and that's Rebekah, she's 19 months old, she's at that age where I feel like the only thing I ever say is 'No Rebekah'"

Rachel and Shelby had just settled on the small sofa when Phoebe came running into the room, "Momma"

"Phee" Rachel interrupted, "what have I told you about wearing your shoes inside?" she began to scold the girl.

"But Momma" Phoebe repeated, "Abigail fell off the swing and she sma. . .hi. . . Momma she's crying and her face is bleeding real bad."

Shelby saw the colour drain from Rachel's face before she bolted from the room. Shelby paused only to slip on her shoes before following Rachel through the kitchen, grabbing the kitchen roll from the side on her way out and joining Rachel in the garden.

"And I was just trying to get, to tell her how to kick her legs so she could swing on her owns without being pushed and she went up on the swing and then fell off and banged her face on the slide like this" Shelby caught Phoebe demonstrating the events that lead up to Abigail's accident.

"Here let me see" Shelby crouched down beside Rachel who held Abigail in a tight embrace, "I did some first aid training when I worked at Carmel." Rachel nodded and Shelby began to gently examine Abigail's nose that was currently gushing blood.

At Shelby's first touch Abigail screamed in pain and Phoebe ran over to Shelby hitting her shoulder, "don't hurt my sister" she said sternly.

"Phoebe" Rachel glared at her daughter, "what have I told you about hitting people? Shelby is trying to help Abigail."

"Sorry" Phoebe mumbled.

"Why don't you see if you can go and find Pog?" Rachel suggested, "but please be quiet, Rebekah is still napping in your room."

"I'll find him Momma I promise" she nodded as she ran back into the house to find her sister's favourite toy.

"Do you have an urgent care nearby?" Sheby asked, quickly reassuring Rachel when she saw the look on her face, "we probably won't need it, but just in case."

Rachel nodded, "it's about 10-15 minutes away"

"Okay" Shelby nodded, before asking a question she was sure she already knew the answer to, "do you and the girls have insurance?"

Rachel shook her head, "I had to make the choice between medical insurance and new winter coats for the girls" she whispered, slightly embarrassed that she wasn't able to provide her children with everything they needed.

"Okay" Shelby stood to her feet making a mental note to sign Rachel and the children up for an insurance policy as soon as she could, "lets get her inside and see if we can stop the bleeding, I don't think it's broken but if we can't stop it bleeding in the next ten minutes or so we'll have to get her to the doctor."

"Thank you" Rachel sighed as she took some more kitchen roll to try and stem the blood.

"Keep her head forward" Shelby said softly tilting Abigail's head forward as Rachel stood from the grass, "do you have a bowl or something we can use instead of all this kitchen roll?"

Rachel nodded as she carried Abigail into the kitchen, "in the drawer by the sink there should be a clear plastic bowl."

"Here" Shelby found the bowl and followed Rachel into the living room and placing the bowl on Abigail's lap, "if you put a bit of pressure here" Shelby gestured on her own nose, not wanting to hurt her grandchild, "that should help stop the bleeding".

"I gots him Momma" Phoebe ran back into the room with the pink bunny Shelby had seen Abigail holding in the supermarket, "look Abi I gots Pog. He was in Jakey and Seth's special bag under the buggy." Abigail didn't reach out for the toy so Phoebe placed him on the arm of the sofa, "he's right here Abi" she smiled, reaching out and taking Abigail's hand in her own, her thumb gently stroking the back of her sisters palm.

It took almost ten minutes for Abigail's nose to stop bleeding and, after Phoebe fetched the baby wipes, Rachel cleaned up her daughter and Abigail was now snuggled into Rachel's chest sniffling gently. "I'm sorry" Rachel sighed as she stroked a hand over Abigail's curls, "I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to do today."

"It's not" Shelby admitted, "but you can't help it, kids have accidents Rachel, we can talk another time."

Rachel nodded just as Rebekah began to cry from the bedroom, "Abigail can you get up for a minute so I can get Bekah please".

Abigail shook her head and clung tightly to Rachel, "I'll go" Shelby placed her hand on Rachel's arm briefly, "if you want?"

Rachel sighed, "she'll be hungry, I'll have to make her some dinner she's not eaten yet, she fell asleep while I was making their food."

"I'll sort her out" Shelby smiled, "you stay with Abigail."

Shelby didn't notice Phoebe follow her down the hall as she walked into the girl's room to find Rebekah stood up in the cot shaking the bars, her hair tousled from tossing and turning in her sleep, "Hello baby girl" Shelby cooed as she lifted the girl to her hip. She knew instantly that Rebekah needed changing and was about to go ask Rachel where she kept the diapers when she saw Phoebe stood in the doorway, "do you know where Mommy keeps the diapers?"

Phoebe nodded enthusiastically, "in here" she lead Shelby to the chest of drawers in Rachel's room and opened the top drawer where Shelby found several diapers and a packet of baby wipes, "the big ones are Bekah's" Phoebe told her, "the little ones are for Jakey and Seth".

Rebekah was silent as Shelby changed her diaper, she gazed up at the older version of her mother, unsure as to what was going on she laid on the changing mat taking everything in. "There we go" Shelby smiled as she placed the wipes back in the drawer and the dirty diaper in the bin by the drawers, "shall we get you something to eat now?" she asked lifting Rebekah from the changing mat. She turned to Phoebe who was sat on the bed, gently swinging her legs, "are you hungry?"

Phoebe nodded, "a little bit".

"Come on then" Shelby held out her free hand, "lets go get something to eat."


	4. Chapter 4

I was hoping to get the talk between Rachel and Shelby into this chapter but it judt didn't happen, its coming next time though, I promise!

* * *

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked as Shelby walked back into the living room with Phoebe and Rebekah, "you were gone a while."

"Bekah needed a clean diaper" Phoebe answered before Shelby had chance.

"You should have called me" Rachel told her mother, "I'd have done it."

"Don't worry" Shelby smiled, "it's not the first diaper I've changed and she was only wet." Shelby turned her attention to Abigail, "I'm going to get some food for Rebekah and Phoebe, are you hungry?" Abigail nodded slowly into Rachel's chest, "okay then, I'll go warm up some pasta."

Phoebe followed Shelby into the kitchen, "what's your name?" she asked as she leant against the fridge.

"Shelby." Shelby said, balancing Rebekah on one hip as she opened the plastic take out containers with her free hand, she'd become an expert at doing things one handed when Beth was younger.

"That's a pretty name" Phoebe watched for a minute, "can I help?"

"Sure" Shelby passed an open container to Phee, "can you put this in the microwave for me?"

"What numbers do I need to press?" Phoebe asked as she closed the door.

"Two-three-zero"

Shelby watched as Phoebe pressed the buttons before turning back to Shelby, "is that right?" Shelby nodded and Phee turned back to the microwave pressing the start button before turning back to Shelby, "how comes you knows my Momma?"

"I knew her a while ago, when she was younger." Shelby explained simply.

"When she used to sing?" Shelby nodded in response to the girl's question, "she showed me and Abi the DVD but she won't sing no more. It's sad cos she was really good." The microwave dinged and Phoebe turned back to Shelby, "you haves to get it out cos it's hot." Shelby smiled and took the warm pasta from the microwave before passing Phee the second container, "the same numbers?"

Shelby nodded and confirmed Phoebe had the right numbers before asking, "where does Mommy keep the bowls?"

"Up there" Phoebe pointed to a cupboard on the wall, "Bekah's bowl has flowers on and Abi's one gots princesses on."

"What about yours?" Shelby asked reaching to get the bowls from the cupboard.

"It's the blue one with sheep." She watched as Shelby got out the three plastic bowls and then two other bowls, "are you and Mommy eating too?"

"Yep" Shelby took three plastic cups and two glasses from the cupboard next to the plates before she took the second container of pasta from the microwave and passed Phoebe a third, "what about the forks and spoons?" Phoebe opened up the drawer by the oven and pulled out pink, blue and purple plastic forks and spoons, along with two metal forks and spoons before placing them all on the side next to the bowls.

"Will you eat in here with me and Bekah?" Phoebe asked pointing to the small table and high chair in the corner of the room.

"Of course." Shelby smiled as she filled all the cups with juice, "does Rebekah need a bib?"

Phoebe nodded, "there's one on the table".

"Okay" Shelby put a fourth container into the microwave, "how about you put these on the table" she passed the forks and spoons to Phoebe, realising the girl wanted to help, "then go tell Mommy and Abigail that the pasta's ready."

"Okay" Phoebe carefully laid the forks and spoons out by each place on the table and excitedly skipped out of the room. Shelby strapped Rebekah into her highchair and pulled the bib over her head before she passed her a pink cup of juice that she began to drink greedily, she'd just put several slices of garlic bread onto a plate when Phoebe came back into the kitchen, Rachel following close behind with Abigail on her hip, "Momma, you sit there with Abi, I wanna sit with Shelby" she grinned before moving back over to where Shelby was filling bowls with pasta, "can I help?"

"You can take this to the table if you like" Shelby passed her the plate of garlic bread, "then come back for some bowls."

Phoebe nodded and carefully carried the plate to the table, "I helped with the microwave" she proudly told Rachel, "Shelby told me the right numbers and took the hot pasta out but I did all the rest didn't I?"

"You sure did" Shelby smiled as she placed the final bowl in front of Rachel and began to eat her own pasta, "you were a great help." She paused for a moment to help Rebekah stab some pasta before helping herself to a slice of garlic bread.

"What do you say to Shelby girls?" Rachel asked.

"Thank you" Phoebe and Abigail replied at the same time.

"You really didn't need to" Rachel told her, picking at her own bowl, she was so used to going without it only took a few mouthfuls to fill her up.

"It's not a problem and there's plenty left if anyone wants some more." She smiled as Rebekah threw her fork onto the table, deciding instead that her hands were better. "Rachel" Shelby spoke softly so Phoebe and Abigail couldn't hear, "you need to eat something, you can't take care of your children if you don't take care of yourself, there's loads of vegan pasta in there, divide it up into smaller portions and put it in the freezer. I want you to use the walmart gift vouchers too, for your groceries. If you don't I'll just have food delivered here instead." She was interrupted by Rebekah babbling loudly as she saw both Phoebe and Abigail take a slice of garlic bread and didn't want to be left out. "Will she like it?" Shelby asked Rachel.

Rachel shrugged, "she's never tried it" she reached for a slice of garlic bread and pulled off the crust before handing it to Rebekah, "I guess that's a yes" she smiled as the young girl chewed away happily.

"Would you mind if I stayed?" Shelby asked as she helped Rachel clear the bowls away, "we could talk after the kids are in bed."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "don't you have to get Beth though?"

Shelby shook her head, "she's living with my sister, she wanted to go to a performing arts school near Chicago, I said she wasn't old enough to board yet but my sister only lives twenty minutes away from the school and she offered to let Beth move in with her, she started this academic year."

"Do you miss her?" Rachel asked lifting Rebekah from the high chair and allowing her to toddle off to find her sisters.

"Yeah" Shelby sighed, "but she's happy and that's what matters most." Rachel was about to reply when there was a loud wail from the living room joined seconds later by a second, "would you like a hand?"

Rachel nodded reluctantly, "that would be good, do you think you could try and settle them while I warm their bottles."

"Of course" Shelby nodded, smiling briefly at her daughter before going to try and settle the babies. Rachel couldn't stop the smile that formed on her face when she walked into the living room with a bottle of milk in each hand, only to find Shelby with a baby in each arm, singing quietly as she rocked them both, seemingly oblivious to the fact both twins were still crying hungrily, "here she is" Shelby cooed as she saw Rachel, "I told you Mommy wouldn't be long.

Rachel sat on the floor in front of the empty bouncer chairs, setting the bottles down beside her, "I usually…" she gestured to the chairs.

"I erm, I could help if you wanted?" Shelby offered as she carefully lowered herself to the floor.

Rachel nodded shyly, so used to having to do everything on her own, "that would be good, thank you."

Shelby allowed Rachel to take one of the twins from her before picking up one of the bottles and beginning to feed the baby still in her arms, "which one's this?"

"Seth" Rachel pointed to Jacob's cheek, "Jacob has this freckle here, when they're sleeping it's the only way you can tell them apart. When they're awake Seth's the more laid back of the two, if I put him in his bouncer chair he's happy to wait two minutes for me to warm up a bottle, if Jacob's hungry he wants his bottle ten minutes ago."

Shelby smiled and nodded before she noticed the box in the corner of the room, "are they okay? The clothes and things?"

Rachel nodded as she began to wind her son, "it was very kind of you, it sounds awful but I usually only buy new clothes for Phee, and now the twins of course, Rebekah's wearing clothes I bought for Phee three years ago, in fact I think some of the vests and sleepsuits the boys are wearing were Phee's" Rachel frowned.

"I'm glad you like them" Shelby smiled, "I've got the receipts if there's anything that won't fit anybody, I wasn't sure with shoes and things but I thought if it wouldn't fit one of the girls it would fit another."

"Yeah, it probably will, I've not had chance to get the girls to try things on yet."

"It's okay." Shelby smiled softly at the sound of the girls laughing from down the hall as she lifted Seth to her shoulder to wind him once he began fussing at the bottle.

"Thank you for today" Rachel said quietly, "you've been a great help."

"Anytime" Shelby smiled again, reaching out to lay her hand on Rachel's leg, "I've been thinking" she said a few moments later as she sat beside Rachel on the floor, Jacob and Seth back on their playmat, both boys fighting sleep now they'd been fed. "I wondered if you'd all like to come and stay with me for a couple of days, I have a spare room for you and Beth has two beds in her room for Phoebe and Abigail, I'd just need to get cots for Rebekah and the twins."

"I don't have a car" Rachel shrugged, "and I don't know if I'd be able to get all these across town on the bus."

"I'm sure we could work something out if you wanted to come over" Shelby said softly, but Rachel still looked unsure. "When did you last have a full night's sleep?"

Rachel shrugged, her eyes focused on the patterns her fingers were making in the carpet, "probably when I was in New York."

"Let me help you Rachel" Shelby said softly, "I've got a huge house and for five days out of the week I'm rattling round on my own. I'll take the twins in with me, tell the girls they're to get me up when they wake, you can lock the door and sleep for three days if you want, you're a good mother Rachel but you need a break, you need to take care of yourself as well as your children. How much do you weigh?"

Rachel shrugged again, "I don't know, about a hundred pounds."

"That's not good Rachel."

"None of my children are underweight" Rachel interrupted.

"I know, and I know you want to put your children's wellbeing before your own but you still need to eat, protein and carbohydrates, tofu and potatoes." Shelby smiled trying to lighten the mood slightly.

"I'm not really vegan anymore" Rachel admitted, "things got a bit tough a while ago and I only ate what the kids didn't and I've never imposed my vegan diet on them."

"What happened?" Sheby asked, "I always thought you were in New York, I was waiting to hear you'd been cast in something amazing. If I'd have known, oh God Rachel I'd never have walked away."

"I'll tell you what happened if you tell me the real reason why you decided you didn't want to be my mother when I was 16"

"Deal" Shelby held out her hand for Rachel to shake, "on the condition that we can get up off the floor, I'm starting to get cramp."


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the chapter a lot of you will have been waiting for, Rachel and Shelby get to talk. I know some of you might have questions that still aren't answered, but I hope this is a start!

On a different note, I'm thinking about writing a few Rachel/Shelby oneshots. I have a couple of ideas in mind but if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for things you'd like to see, feel free to let me know!

* * *

"It's not a very long story" Shelby told Rachel once they were sat on the sofa, "you know I signed a contract before you were born, agreeing not to contact you until you were 18?" Rachel nodded, "your fathers found out about Jesse and the tape. They called me and said that if I didn't leave you alone they'd take out a restraining order. I thought it would be better for everyone concerned if you hated me for walking away rather than hating your fathers for forcing me away."

"I had no idea" Rachel whispered.

"Good. It was obvious that you adored your fathers, I didn't want to be the one that changed that."

"Daddies Berry were big gamblers" Rachel kept up her end of the deal. "I knew they put bets on big games and stuff, but 10 dollars on an NFL final didn't really seem like much. What I didn't know was that it was more like 1000 dollars at a time, they remortgaged the house, took out loan after loan, maxed out credit cards and then drove their car into a river. They'd already spent all the money they'd been saving for my inheritance and the bank took the house. Somehow my parents were still managing to pay for college and my apartment but obviously that stopped when they died. I came back to Lima and slept with an old friend the night of my fathers' funeral and that's when I got pregnant with Phee. Things didn't really work out with her dad, we realised we were probably better off as friends, and eventually I moved back to New York to live with a friend. I got a job, not a good one but a job all the same, then I met Abigail's dad but" Rachel blinked back tears, "he got mistaken for someone else and was shot before I even knew I was pregnant." She wiped at her eyes and it was taking all Sheby's self control not to pull Rachel into her arms and cradle her like a baby. "I couldn't afford to stay in New York so came I back to Lima, I didn't know what else to do with myself, I found this place, and met someone. I thought… " Rachel shrugged, "I don't know what I thought, he was so good with Abi and Phee, he helped pay for daycare so I could start working again but when he found out I was expecting Rebekah he just upped and left, said it was only ever meant to be a bit of fun." Rachel knew she was rambling but she'd never told anyone this and now she'd started she couldn't stop. "Phee's dad came to see her on her fourth birthday, I don't even recall how we got there but we slept together again and I found out five weeks later I was pregnant, seven weeks after that I found out it was twins."

"Oh darling" Shelby couldn't stop herself pulling Rachel into a hug.

"I know" Rachel whispered into Shelby's shoulder, "I know there were other options, that I didn't, probably shouldn't have kept all five of them, and before you say anything, other than the twins, I used protection every time, I wasn't completely careless."

"I never for one minute thought you were" Shelby interrupted, "but it's not for me to judge even if you were, you're doing your best for your children and they all seem happy and healthy to me so you're obviously doing something right.

"When… I knew I was struggling but I couldn't get rid of Abi, not after her dad…she;s all I've got left of him, but I thought about it with Bekah, and again with the twins, but I couldn't" she whispered, "I knew every time I looked at my other children I'd wonder 'what if'. It's hard, it's been so hard but I… they're real people, I couldn't… I don't regret keeping them."

Shelby ran her hand over Rachel's hair, "you've done a brilliant job Rachel, especially on your own, but, if you'd let me, I'd like to help you from now on, I didn't want to walk away when you were 16, I don't want to do it now."

"I'd like it" Rachel whispered, "if my babies could get to know you."

"And they can" Shelby promised, smiling as Rachel relaxed a little and curled into Shelby slightly, "I had no idea about your Dads" Shelby whispered, "I mean I knew they'd died but I thought it was a car accident, I didn't know. . ."

"That they weren't man enough to face their problems, that they took the cowards way out and left me to fight for myself, I had less than 100 dollars in the bank, if Phee's father's family hadn't taken me in when they did I'd have been on the streets."

"Phoebe's dad" Shelby asked cautiously, "he's the twins dad too?"

Rachel nodded, "I haven't told him though, when I told him about Phoebe he proposed, he thought I might want to be married before she was born. He's got a good life, I don't want to make him feel like he has to come back here just because of Phoebe and the twins. He sends money for Phoebe, we didn't go to court or anything, he sends me a couple of hundred dollars a month, it really helps."

"Is it Noah Puckerman?"

Rachel opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, "I, he, how did you know?"

Shelby smiled, "Phoebe's a lot like Beth was at that age, and the twins look just like him. He's a good dad, he calls Beth twice a week and he sends her letters and little gifts."

"He was always good with Phee, he was good with Abi and Bekah too when he met them on Phee's birthday."

"You should call him" Shelby reached into her bag for her phone and a small notebook, scribbling down Noah's number before pulling the page from the book and handing it to Rachel, "at least think about it."

Rachel nodded and slipped the paper into her pocket, "I'll think about it."

Shelby and Rachel spoke for a little while longer as the girls amused themselves in their bedroom but it wasn't long before they came back through to the living room, Phoebe with an armful of Dora the explorer toys, Bekah toddling along beside her clutching a Dora figure and Abi cradling a doll in her arms like it was a real baby.

"Is that your baby?" Shelby asked gently as Rachel helped Phoebe and Rebekah set up their toys on the rug.

Abi nodded, "nice baby."

"It's a very nice baby" Shelby agreed, watching how Abi studied her intently, almost like she wasn't sure what to think of the woman who'd turned up out of the blue. "Does your baby have a name?"

Abi shrugged shyly, "jus' baby" she whispered.

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "that's okay."

Abi looked from Shelby to the doll in her arms before holding it out, "you cuddle her?"

"Sure" Shelby took the doll, cradling it like Abi had been. Beth had never been into dolls, Shelby had brought them for her, but other than a soft bodied rag doll that she'd slept with for a while, dolls had never captured Beth's attention the way her cars, trucks and trains had so she'd never done anything like this before, but she was sure she could learn for the sake of her grandchildren.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked quietly as Abi mumbled that she'd forgotten something and left the room, leaving Shelby still rocking the doll.

Shelby nodded, "yeah, I'm fine" she smiled, looking up when Abi came back into the room with a pink drawstring bag in her hands, "what have you got there?" she asked as Abi clambered up to sit beside her on the couch.

"Baby things" Abi whispered, showing Shelby each item as she took it from the bag, doll sized nappies and clothes along with a baby bottle full of white liquid that 'emptied' when you turned the bottle upside down, "baby hu'g'y" she said as she handed Shelby the bottle, watching with a smile on her face as the woman pretended to feed the doll in her arms.

Phoebe and Bekah were happy to play by themselves, both so engrossed in their game that they didn't realise Rachel's attention was elsewhere, the woman watching Shelby with Abi. Rachel knew her second born was shyer, quieter than her siblings, that she was always wary of new people, but she'd taken to Shelby better than she'd ever taken to anyone but her Momma. She knew that Abi was getting tired, she'd dozed a little in Rachel's arms after her accident earlier, but she'd missed her afternoon nap, even so, Rachel was still surprised when she saw Abi shuffle onto Shelby's lap, even more surprised when Shelby put the doll down on the couch beside her, wrapping her arms around Abi, talking quietly as she began to slowly rock with her.

"I should probably get off" Shelby smiled when she realised Abi had fallen asleep in her arms.

"Thank you" Rachel smiled, taking the sleeping toddler from Shelby to let the woman stand before she laid Abi back on the couch.

"It's not a problem" Shelby smiled, picking up her bag and jacket and saying goodbye to Phoebe and Rebekah before Rachel walked her into the hall. "Could I come and see you again?" Shelby asked, the woman sounding unusually nervous as she slipped her shoes on.

Rachel nodded, "sure, I, I'd like that, and I'm sure the kids would too, Abi seems quite taken by you, Phee too."

Shelby smiled, "next week?" she suggested, "I could come at the same time I did today?"

Rachel nodded again and gratefully accepted a hug from Sheby, "that would be nice thank you."

Shelby gently squeezed Rachel's arm before she left, "you've got my number. If you need anything, anything at all Rachel, you call me okay?"

Rachel nodded, even though she knew she wouldn't, wouldn't risk doing anything that might push Shelby away, not when she'd only just got her back, "thank you" she nodded, watching as Shelby walked towards her car, the woman waving to her before slipping into the SUV as Rachel closed the door, both hoping that today was the start of something new, that they'd be able to build on today, that they'd be able to get to know each other, that Rachel could get to know her Mom and Shelby could get to know her baby, and her baby's babies.


	6. Chapter 6

It is mentioned briefly, but just in case it isn't too clear, there's a time jump of a month or so between the end of the last chapter and the start of this one, and then another jump of a couple of weeks midway through the chapter but I'm hoping that becomes clear as you read it!

* * *

Shelby became a regular visitor at the Berry household over the next few weeks, determined to keep her word, determined not to let her daughter and her grandchildren down again, hoping to build the relationship she'd always dreamt of having with her daughter, and it was working, slowly but surely she and Rachel were getting closer.

Rachel quickly realised that she'd never got to know 'Shelby' when she was in high school, the woman she'd known then had been a watered down Coach Corcoran. Shelby was the woman who turned up in faded tshirts, oversized jumpers and ripped jeans, no make up on and her hair pulled back messily from her face. Shelby was the woman Rachel found in her back yard, bouncing Jake on her left hip as she drew a hopscotch grid on the floor for the girls with a stick of bright pink chalk she held in her right hand. Shelby was the woman who kissed Phoebe's grazed knees better at the park, who'd sing to her grandbabies to settle them down for a nap, and who'd hand Rachel a coffee with a kiss to her forehead as she told her to take five minutes, telling her she'd watch the kids, just to give Rachel a moment of peace. Shelby was the woman who, when faced with a flustered Rachel and five children in the various stages of a sickness bug they'd picked up, simply held out her arms for one of the babies grizzling in Rachel's arms and asked, "what do you need me to do?" Whatever had happened in the past, Rachel was in no doubt that Shelby wanted to do better this time.

No matter how much her relationship with Shelby grew, Rachel still knew there were things she couldn't let Shelby find out about, not wanting the woman to worry about her or feel like she was obliged to spend more money on Rachel and her children to try and fix things.

Rachel sighed as she thought things through in her head, Jacob had begun fidgeting in his sleep and waking Seth several times a night. She was reluctant to spend all of the money Shelby had given her, she wanted to save that, she knew all too well how quickly that support could disappear but she knew she needed to do something. She thought of Shelby, of the cellphone she'd given Rachel, her own number already stored in the contacts list, knowing her Mom would help her in an instant. No, Rachel shook her head, she didn't want her Mom thinking she only wanted her for her money, so there was only one thing she could do, "girls, can you grab your shoes and coats please, we need to go shopping."

"Are we getting diapers Mommy?" Phoebe asked as they walked into the store.

"No baby" Rachel smiled at her eldest child, "we need some new bedding, the twins need to have their own cots now so I'm going to put Bekah's cot into my room so the boys can have one each."

"Where's Bekah going to sleep?"

"I'm going to put my bed in your room for her and I'll sleep on the couch. We need boy bedding for the cot and some nice big girl sheets for Rebekah. We'll need to get Rebekah bed guards too so she doesn't roll out." Rachel had hoped she'd be able to use the bed guard she'd bought when Phoebe first moved into a 'big bed' but Abi used it now and Rachel frequently woke to find her resting against the pink frame, so she didn't want to risk taking it away just yet.

"Momma" Phoebe tugged on Rachel's arm, "if you put your bed in the middle of mine and Abi's I'll sleep in there and Bekah can sleep in my bed so she just needs one side on her bed and not two."

Rachel smiled, "that would be brilliant baby thank you."

"I like this Momma" Phoebe turned to Rachel with a rainbow striped bedding set in her hands as she picked out a black bed guard. Rachel looked at the price of the bedding Phoebe held, she'd found bedding for both Rebekah and the twins in the clearance section of the store so the total had been much less than she'd expected, "okay, you can have it" she smiled to Phoebe before turning to Abi, "do you want to choose some more bed sheets too baby?"

Abi took a few minutes to study all the sheets before shyly pointing at a set with rainbows and sunshines covering it, "ta Momma"

"That's lovely" Rachel smiled as she picked it from the shelf, "we can wash it when we get home and put it on your bed in the morning if you like?"

"Yes p'ease Momma" Abi smiled as she took hold of Rachel's hand.

"Right then" Rachel smiled, checking she had all her children before heading for the checkouts, frowning slightly when she thought of something.

"What's wrong Mommy?" Phoebe asked her mother with a frown that mirrored Rachel's.

Rachel briefly thought about what to tell her daughter, she knew the girl wasn't stupid, that she was intelligent and perceptive and she'd pick things up eventually, "Bekah's going to be sleeping in my bed" Rachel told Phoebe, "so she'll need to use my covers."

"But then you'll get cold Mommy" Phoebe's frown grew.

"I know Darling" Rachel gently stroked her daughter's back, "that's why I'm going to get something to keep me warm, you don't need to worry."

"You can have my bed Mommy" Phoebe offered, "me and Abi can snuggle, we like snuggling."

"Like snuggle" Abi nodded around the thumb in her mouth.

Rachel bent to kiss both her daughters, "that's very kind of you" she told them both, "but it's okay, you don't need to share, I'll be okay on the couch" she picked up a sleeping bag, balancing it on top of the buggy with the bedding she'd picked up, "see" she smiled, "that will keep me warm" she smiled, not wanting her babies to worry about her.

She spent the afternoon moving furniture, rearranging the girl's room and dragging her bed down the hall, making a mental note to keep the bedroom doors shut the next time Shelby visited and to ask Phoebe and Abi not to mention anything to the woman they'd become so fond of.

Rebekah was quick to settle into her 'big girl bed', the girl almost seeming proud that she now had a bed like her sisters, and, although the couch was old and uncomfortable, Rachel knew she'd made the right decision when, just three nights after putting them into separate cots, Jacob and Seth both slept straight through the night for the first time since their birth.

It had been almost three weeks since Rachel had started sleeping on the couch and so far she'd managed to keep the new sleeping arrangements from her mom. Shelby wasn't stupid though, she knew something was wrong, she noticed how Rachel always seemed to be exhausted, more so than when Shelby had first started visiting. Of course she'd asked Rachel if everything was okay, if there was anything she could do to help, but Rachel always brushed her off, always had some excuse to explain why she was so tired, but Shelby wasn't convinced, so she began to come up with a plan of her own.

Rachel frowned slightly as an SUV pulled up outside her house, her frown only growing as she watched Shelby step from the car, Rachel sure that it wasn't the car she'd driven over in any other time she'd visited.

"What…" Rachel frowned as she opened the door.

Shelby smiled, "you said you didn't know how you'd get to my house if you wanted to come over so I got a bigger car, now, not only can I drive you to my house, but I can drive you and the kids anywhere you need, or want, to be."

"But the babies, they'll need…"

"Car seats?" Shelby finished for Rachel, getting a nod in response, "all sorted" she gestured to the vehicle, car seats for all five of her grandbabies already secured in the back.

Rachel shook her head, "no, it's too much, I can't afford to…"

"Rachel" Shelby reached out and took her hand, "I can afford to, I wouldn't have done it otherwise, so you don't need to worry okay?"

Rachel nodded, feeling Shelby's thumb gently start to stroke the back of her hand, she was exhausted and the simple gesture of her Mom holding her hand had Rachel on the verge of tears, "thank you" she whispered, not sure there'd ever be enough words for Rachel to express just how grateful she was for everything Shelby was doing for her and her family.

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, "now" she reached out and tucked Rachel's hair behind her ears, "why don't I get all the kids ready to go while you pack a bag, come and stay with me, let me look after you all for a day or two."

Rachel nodded, so slightly that Shelby almost missed it, "okay, if you're sure?"

"I'm positive" Shelby nodded, "so you go and pack a bag for you all, I'll get everyone's coats and shoes on. We'll be in the car when you've done, it'll probably take me a while to adjust the car seats for them all."

Shelby was taken back slightly by the force of the hug Rachel gave her, "thank you" she whispered, "thank you so much."


	7. Chapter 7

This one's a little longer than usual, I hope you like it!

* * *

Shelby was waiting by the car when Rachel came out with a bag in her hand, "jump in" she smiled, "I'll put this in the trunk."

Rachel nodded and passed Shelby the bag, thanking her as she got in the car, wanting to cry at the sight of her babies all sat in the back of Shelby's car, "Look Momma" Phoebe beamed, "I got a big girl seat."

"You have" Rachel smiled, "I hope you said thank you to Shelby."

"We did Momma" Phoebe nodded as she settled back in her seat, reaching out to take hold of Abi's hand.

Shelby got into the car and smiled at her daughter, "are you ready?"

Rachel smiled and nodded, "yeah, thanks." Shelby flicked on a CD of disney songs as she drove, Rachel relaxing back in her seat, beginning to relax a little. "Where are we going?" she frowned a while later. She knew roughly where Shelby lived, and she was almost certain they were heading in the wrong direction for that.

"Well" Shelby bit her lip, "I've bought new clothes and things for the kids, and I know you'd never think to spend the money I gave you on things for yourself so I think it's about time I spoiled you a little."

"No, no, you don't have to do that."

"I know" Shelby reached over and gently squeezed Rachel's leg, "but I want to."

"What are we getting?" Phoebe asked as Shelby lifted Abi and Bekah into a cart, Rachel doing the same with Jacob and Seth.

"Thank you" Shelby praised Phoebe as her fingers curled through the holes in the side of the cart, holding on to the side like Rachel often asked her to hold onto the buggy, "we're going to get some clothes and things for your Momma" she told her, "like I got for you and your brothers and sisters."

"In the big box? That was you?" Shelby nodded and Phoebe wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly, "thank you!"

"You're welcome" Shelby smiled, gently ruffling her hair, "so we want to get some nice things for your Mom, and then if you're coming to my house, you'll all need some toys and things so you don't get bored won't you?"

"We get a toy?" Phoebe's face lit up, "for real?"

Shelby smiled and nodded, "if you can wait nicely and help us pick some things for Momma then you can have more than one" she winked.

"I'll be good" Phoebe nodded, taking hold of the cart again, "I promise."

Despite Rachel's protests, Shelby insisted on spoiling her, buying her more clothes than she'd had in a long time, making her try everything on to be sure it fitted, before, to the delight of the children, adding most of the toy aisle to the cart too.

The twins were getting ready for their nap once they'd finished shopping and Bekah and Abi were tiring too, so Shelby looked at Rachel once they were in the car, "how about we grab burgers or something and eat it at home? It won't hurt them just this once, and before you say anything, I'm paying, no arguments."

"You've already spent so much." Rachel whispered.

"I'd have spent a lot more if I'd have known you, known your kids from the start, don't worry about how much I'm spending Rach, if I couldn't afford it, I wouldn't offer."

"If you're sure, then I'm sure the kids would love that."

Shelby smiled and nodded, stopping off at the drive through on the way home, getting food for herself and the girls, and ordering a veggie burger and fries for Rachel despite her protest that she wasn't hungry.

Rachel fed the twins and settled them down for a nap on Shelby's couch once they were home, Shelby sitting the girls at the kitchen table to eat. "Oh wow" Rachel's eyes widened when she saw the amount of food spread across the table, she'd noticed Shelby ordering quite a few items at the window but she didn't realise quite how much food she'd ordered.

Shelby shrugged, "I thought letting them pick what they wanted once we were here would be easier than making them decide in the car" she said, "so I got nuggets and burgers, and fries and onion rings. And I know you said you didn't want anything, but you need to eat Rach" she said as she handed over the veggie burger.

"I…"

"I told you I'd look after you while you were here, and that means making sure you eat. If you don't want the burger then that's fine, I'll make you something else, but you need to eat Rachel."

Rachel nodded and took the burger, not wanting to put Shelby out by making her feel like she had to make her something else, "thank you."

The rest of the afternoon was spent watching movies and playing with the new toys Shelby had bought for her grandchildren, and, as much as she'd have liked to spend some time with Rachel after the kids were asleep, she knew Rachel was exhausted, "why don't you get ready for bed too?" Shelby suggested as Rachel stood to get Abi and Phee changed for bed. "I'll come up in a minute and put the girls to bed and you can get some sleep."

Rachel nodded, grateful for the chance to get some rest, "is that okay?" she asked them both, "I'll get you changed and then Shelby will put you to bed?"

"Will she read us stories?" Phoebe asked.

Shelby smiled and nodded, "of course I will."

"Okay" Phoebe nodded, taking her sisters hand, "come on Abi, let's get our jammies on!"

Rachel sat in the middle of the plush double bed in Shelby's guest room once she'd changed the girls. She was wearing pyjamas Shelby had bought her earlier and she was enjoying a few minutes with her girls before Shelby came up to put them to bed, Phoebe sat on her left and a sleepy Abigail was curled into her right side sucking on Pog's ear. Rebekah was already sleeping on an airbed in Beth's room and the twins were in separate travel cots in Shelby's room. "Will you sing something Momma please?" Ever since she found out Shelby could sing too, Phoebe had been begging Rachel to sing her something.

"Please Mommy" Abigail whispered into Rachel's side.

"Okay" Rachel wasn't sure how her voice would sound these days but there was a song she'd hummed as she'd rocked all 5 of her children to sleep and she could never say no to her babies.

"Really Momma?"

Rachel nodded, "one song." She took a deep breath, "_For you_" She took Abigail's chin in her hand "_there'll be no more crying_." Rachel smiled at the most sensitive of her three daughters before turning her attention to Phoebe, "_For you, the sun will be shining. And I feel that when I'm with you it's alright, I know it's right_." Part of Rachel wondered why she'd not sung for so long, whilst she'd thought she had nothing worth singing for she missed singing just for the sake of singing. She pulled both her daughters close as she began to sing, "_To you, I'll give the world. To you, I'll never be cold. 'Cause I feel that when I'm with you it's alright, I know it's right_." She didn't notice Shelby standing in the doorway to the room, "_And the songbirds are singing like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before. And I wish you all the love in the world_"

"_But most of all, I wish it from myself_." Shelby made her presence known as she walked towards the bed, both Phee and Abigail's mouths falling open in shock as Rachel and Shelby sang together, "_and the songbirds keep singing like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you like never before. I love you, I love you, I love you like never before, like never before_."

"Wow Momma you're brilliant. Will you sing something else?" Phoebe knelt up and began to bounce on the bed.

"Not tonight baby, I said one song."

"But Momma"

"Hey" Shelby interrupted, "I think it's bedtime, if you jump into bed quickly I'll read you two stories, you can choose one each." Phoebe leapt from the bed, "be quick but quiet, Rebekah's already sleeping." Rachel and Shelby both laughed as Phoebe tiptoed down the hall with her finger on her lip. "Are you ready for bed too missy?" Shelby asked Abigail.

"Mommy" Abigail whispered gripping onto Rachel's hand.

"I'll be sleeping in here baby, Shelby's just across the hall from you and Bekah and Phee are in your room." Rachel turned her attention to Shelby, "she's never slept anywhere else but home."

"What if I wet my bed?" she whispered tearfully.

"You won't baby and if you do then it's not a problem, we'll just change the sheets like we do at home. You know where the bathroom is right?" Abigail pointed to the door opposite the room Rachel was sleeping in, "okay, I'm sure Shelby will be okay with us leaving the light on." Abigail and Rachel looked to Shelby and she nodded at Abigail. "So you can find your way."

"Can I sleep in with Phee?"

"That's up to Phoebe baby."

"Speak of the devil" Shelby smiled as Phoebe came back into the room .

"What's taking you so long?" Phoebe asked Shelby, "I waited in bed for you."

"Abigail's a little bit nervous about sleeping somewhere new." Rachel explained.

"Come on Abi" Phee held out her hand, "you can sleep in my bed with me."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "that's sorted, now say goodnight to Mommy and I'll come and read to you"

Rachel said goodnight to her oldest children before looking up at Shelby, "thank you" she said sincerely.

Shelby tucked Rachel's hair behind her ear, "you don't need to thank me, just get some rest and I'll see you in the morning" she smiled before leaving the room with Abi on her hip and Phoebe clutching at her hand.

"Can we stay here all the time?" Phoebe asked Shelby as she was tucked into bed.

"Not all the time" Shelby brushed Phoebe's hair back from her face, "but I'm sure Mommy would let you stay here sometimes."

"Can Momma stay here too?"

"Of course she can" Shelby nodded.

"Good" Phoebe nodded, "Mommy will be better here."

"What do you mean Darling?" Shelby asked, trying not to let her face show how worried she was by her grandaughter's words.

Phoebe suddenly looked worried, "Mommy will be mad if I say."

"She won't" Shelby tried to reassure the girl, softly asking, "do you think it's something that I could make better?" Phoebe nodded silently, "well I can only make it better if you tell me what it is."

Phoebe looked torn but eventually whispered, "Mommy can sleep in a bed here."

Shelby tried to hide her frown, "but she sleeps in a bed at home too."

"Nu-uh" Phoebe shook her head.

"Where does she sleep then?" Shelby began to worry about her daughter.

"On the couch" Phoebe whispered, "but she said not to tell you 'cos it'd make you sad."

"I'm not sad Darling" Shelby tried to reassure Phoebe, noticing that Abi had already dozed off, "I just want to make it better, what happened to Mommy's bed?"

"She needed Bekah's crib for Jakey" Phoebe whispered, "so she put her bed in my room for Bekah and Bekah's crib in her bedroom for Jakey and Momma sleeped on the couch. I told her I could snuggle with Abi like this look" she momentarily tightened her hold on her sister, "so she could sleep in my bed but she said it was okay."

"Okay" Shelby kissed Phoebe's head, "don't you worry anymore, I'll speak to Mommy in the morning?"

"Are you mad at her?" Phoebe whispered.

"I'm not mad with anyone, I'm not mad, I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I just want to do what I can to make you all happy."

"Like read us stories?" Phoebe asked hopefully.

"Just like that" Shelby chucked, taking the hint and picking up the book Phoebe had chosen, "are you comfy?" she smiled when she got a nod in response, "Okay then, A mouse took a stroll through the deep dark wood, a fox saw the mouse and the mouse looked good…"

Phoebe was fast asleep by the time Shelby finished the book, the woman being sure to leave the door open a little, leaving the landing light on and flicking on the bathroom light just in case.

She peeked into her guest room on her way downstairs, sighing quietly when she saw Rachel, she'd fallen asleep sat up against the headboard and Shelby knew she couldn't leave her like that. She kissed her forehead and brushed her hair back from her face, hoping to wake her gently, "Momma" the sleepy voice made Shelby's heart swell with love and she clasped the hand that was reached out to her in her own, kissing Rachel's knuckles. "Wha… Are the girls okay?" she murmured, so tired she was already drifting back to sleep.

"They're fine" Shelby reassured her, "but you my Darling, are still sat up on top of the covers, so you need to get into bed and lie down so you can get some proper sleep.

Rachel nodded, shuffling under the covers as Shelby held up a corner of the duvet," Thank you" she yawned, "for everything."

Shelby tucked the covers around Rachel and kissed her forehead again, "get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning" she whispered, flicking off the light and closing the door on her way out.

* * *

Lyrics in italics are 'Songbird' by Eva Cassidy, and the line Shelby reads to Phoebe is from 'The Gruffalo' by Julia Donaldson.


	8. Chapter 8

Lyrics in italics are from Sugarland - Fall Into Me.

* * *

Shelby had been thinking almost constantly about what Phoebe had told her the previous night, and, when she heard Rachel's footsteps on the stairs a little before 8.30 she knew she had to talk to her about it.

"Can we talk Rach?" Shelby asked as she passed her daughter a mug of coffee and a plate of waffles and fruit.

"Sure, is everything okay? Were the kids okay?"

"Everything's fine" Shelby reassured her, "the kids have all been fed, the twins had me up at 6 but they've gone back to sleep and the girls are playing in the living room and watching cartoons."

"Thank you" Rachel smiled as she took a bite from the plate Shelby had given her.

"It's okay" Shelby smiled and sat beside her daughter, "I erm, I was talking to Phoebe when I put them to bed last night. She told me something but she thinks you might be mad with her for telling me." Shelby saw Rachel's face fall, almost instantly she knew what her daughter had said. "I'm not angry Rachel, a little concerned yes but not angry."

"I…"

"You should have told me you needed a bed Rach, I could have given you the money."

Rachel shook her head, "you've already given me too much and I, I appreciate all your help, I still have some of the money you gave me but I don't… I don't want to just throw it away, I don't want to waste it."

"Having a bed isn't a waste of money Rachel" Shelby said softly, "and I understand you wanting to save some money for emergencies, but I could have given you the money for a bed."

"I don't want you to think I only wanted to get to know you for your money" Rachel whispered, "and anyway, I haven't really got room for another bed".

"Well then that needs to change doesn't it?"

Rachel shrugged, "it's only the money that Noah sends me that means I can afford the place we're in now, I couldn't afford anywhere bigger. And I couldn't afford daycare for five children if I got a job."

Shelby took a deep breath, "your fathers paid me to be their surrogate, but when you were born, that brief moment where you looked me in the eye, I knew that no amount of money in the world would make up for not getting to see you grow up, so I decided to save it, I decided there and then that when you turned 18, I'd find you and I'd give every penny back to you."

"Mom" Rachel frowned but Shelby hadn't finished.

"Before he retired, my dad, he was an investment banker, I erm, I gave him the money and asked him to do what he could with it. He told me later on that he and my Mom had added to it every year for Hanukkah and your birthday, and that he'd made a lot of 'good' investments but he didn't tell me how good until your 18th birthday. He erm, he's kept investing it, and, well, there's a hell of a lot of money for you there."

Rachel looked up at Shelby, eyes open wide and mouth dropped wide in shock, "you, I…"

"I've already spoken to him, he said that, because of how it's invested, it's going to be another couple of months before he can get it all back for you, he won't know exacty how much there is until he can get it out of the investments but he says it's enough, at least for a deposit on a bigger place, or we could probably get you something that needs doing up, we'd have to look at what's available and see what you want to do."

"No" Rachel whispered, "I can't, it's too much."

"It's not" Shelby insisted, "it's yours, and whether you take it now, or you ask my Dad to keep hold of it for a while, it will always be yours. But until you make a decision, or until you find somewhere bigger, you could stay here if you wanted, there's plenty of room like I said and I'm just rattling round on my own in the week."

"What about when Beth comes home? The girls are in her bedroom"

"I have a fourth bedroom" Shelby told her, "I used it as an office until I had the basement converted into a studio, we just use it for storage now but everything in there can be moved into the garage" Shelby told her, "it's not a huge room so it might be better, if you don't mind, if we just got a queen bed and for the time being put all the girls in together?"

"I don't know about Bekah but Phoebe and Abi will love sharing a bed" Rachel smiled before shaking her head, "no, I can't put you out like that. Letting us stay here for a day or two is more than enough, you don't want to be woken by the twins every night. You don't want my kids screaming and disturbing you."

"Rachel" Shelby said softly, putting her hand on Rachel's cheek and making the young woman turn to face her. "you are my daughter, those kids of yours are my grandchildren. I don't mind if they're noisy or messy or if they wake me in the night. I just want to help you, all of you, if you'll let me."

Rachel's eyes filled with tears, "it's too much" she whispered, "you're doing too much".

"Oh Rachel" Shelby pulled Rachel in her arms, "it's not too much at all, you're my daughter, you're raising my grandchildren, you're all family Rach, I want to help you however I can. I know I can't ever make up for not being there in the past but I can be here now. I want to be here now."

"I don't… if I'm not paying rent on my house then I'll be able to pay you rent and…"

"And nothing, I don't expect you to pay rent, you're my daughter, if I'd have known you'd have been welcome here, I'd have invited you to stay as soon as I knew you were back in Lima, hell, had I known, I'd have paid your tuition and your rent so you could have stayed in New York."

Rachel bit her lip, trying to fight off the tears she felt pricking behind her eyes, "you've already done too much" she whispered, "they're my babies and you're doing more for them than me, I can't provide for them like you can" she said quietly.

"Oh Rachel" Shelby thought nothing of crossing the kitchen to wrap her daughter in her arms, "imagine this differently for a second, imagine you had a big house that you lived in alone for a lot of the time, imagine you had a secure, well paying job, imagine you had savings in the bank and there was nothing you wanted or needed to spend them on." Rachel nodded and Shelby continued, "now imagine one of your daughters was struggling on her own with five children, imagine that you knew she was doing the best she could with what she had, that she was wearing herself out to make sure her children had the best she could give them. Imagine she was exhausted from sleeping on the couch just so all her children had a safe place to sleep, imagine her going without so that she could provide for her children" she heard a quiet sniffle from her daughter, "now tell me you wouldn't do absolutely anything you could to help her, to make things easier for her. Tell me you wouldn't give her every last penny in your bank and the shirt off your back to help her."

"I would" Rachel whispered, "I'd do anything for my babies."

"I know" Shelby told her, "and you're my baby, I feel the same way about you. If I couldn't afford to help you, if I didn't want to help you, I wouldn't be here Rach, you wouldn't be in my house."

"I don't know what to do" Rachel's voice trembled as her eyes filled with tears, "I'm so tired Mom, and I, I feel like I've spent the past few years barely holding everything together, trying to make something out of nothing for my babies. I love them, don't get me wrong, I love them so, so much, and I know it was my choice to have them all but it's just been so hard and I, some days I just feel like I'm drowning under the enormity of it all, trying to decide how little food the kids can get by on so I can pay the electricity. I feel like I'm sinking but I'm desperately trying to stay afloat for them."

Rachel clung to Shelby, her tears warm against her Mom's neck, "Oh Rach" she whispered, ignoring the fact that Rachel had just called her Mom and instead asking, "why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't want you to think I was a bad Mom. I didn't want you to think I only wanted you for the money and the gifts because I don't" Rachel sobbed, "I want you, I want my Mom."

"You've got me Rachel" Shelby promised, "you've got me and I'm not going anywhere, I promise, and I don't think your a bad Mom, quite the opposite, you went without so you could give to your children, you've done your best for them for so long, but it's a big job for one person, so let me help you" she said softly, "let me take care of you so you can take care of those beautiful children of yours, I hate the thought of you sleeping on a couch when there's a perfectly good bed here you could sleep in, I hate the thought of you going hungry so your children can eat when the refrigerator and the pantry here are full."

"I'm just so, so tired". Rachel whispered, unable to stop her tears now she'd started.

Shelby knew Rachel didn't just mean she was physically tired, she could only imagine the emotional strain that raising five children on a tiny budget had placed on her daughter, but the bags under her eyes showed that Rachel's body was just as tired as her mind. "Go back to bed" she said softly, "we can talk when you've had some more rest."

"But the kids…"

Shelby stopped the protest, "they'll be fine, I can manage for now, and if I can't manage then I promise I'll come and wake you." She kissed Rachel's hair before taking her hand, "come on" she said softly, pausing only to check in on the girls, all still playing happily in the living room. She told Phoebe she was going upstairs and the girl was to shout if she needed anything before leading Rachel back upstairs to the guestroom.

She pulled back the covers and gestured for Rachel to get in, sitting on the bed beside her and beginning to stroke her hair once she'd made herself comfortable, sensing that Rachel needed some sort of comfort. She was proven right when, just a few minutes later, Rachel nervously asked, "will you sing to me? I've always wanted to hear you sing to me".

Shelby smiled and nodded, taking a moment to think of a song before beginning to sing to her daughter "_When the weight of the world bears down so strong you leave footprints on the street, and there's too many miles to face without a few more hours sleep. The storm clouds overhead wont shed any rain to quench your thirst, I wanna be the one you reach for first_"

Rachel let out a quiet sob at Shelby's words. "I used to dream about this when I was younger" she whispered, already beginning to doze off, "about you singing me to sleep."

"Close your eyes and get some sleep then" Shelby whispered before continuing with the song, "_When your faith is stretched so thin that you can see right through your soul, and you can't find a nickel to buy a smile cause all your pockets all got holes, you wanna shut the door and hide before the day can get much worse. I wanna be the one you reach for first_" Shelby hoped Rachel realised she meant every word she sang, that if Rachel needed anything, she wanted her daughter to be able to turn to her, "_Fall into me, my arms are open wide and you don't have to say a word. Cause I already see, that it's hard and you're scared and you're tired and it hurts, and I wanna be the one you reach for first._" It didn't take long, Shelby hadn't even made it through the first chorus when Rachel fell asleep, "sweet dreams" she whispered, straightening the covers around her daughter before heading back downstairs to her grandchildren.


	9. Chapter 9

There probably won't be an update next week as I'm going away for a few days and won't have time to write. I hope this is enough to see you through!

* * *

When Rachel next woke it was almost lunch time, she yawned and stretched in the bed before using the bathroom and padding softly downstairs, still in her pyjamas. She found Shelby and her children at the kitchen table, a long sheet of paper ran the length of the table and Shelby and the girls were drawing happily as the twins sat at the end of the table in the highchairs Shelby had bought, Seth was reclined slightly in his chair, gurgling quietly to himself as he waved a soft bunny in the air above his head, Jake babbling excitedly as he bashed at a musical toy on the tray of the highchair, Shelby seemingly not bothered by the noise from the toy or the infant.

"Momma" Rebekah shrieked from her spot on Shelby's lap, the first one to notice Rachel.

"Hello baby" Rachel smiled as she walked over to the table, sitting in the empty chair and thanking Phoebe when she was passed a red crayon, "have you been having fun with Shelby?" she asked as she wrote out Phoebe's name.

"We had waffles Momma" Phoebe beamed before sticking out her tongue in concentration as she tried to copy her name.

"An' we draw" Abi added.

"Oh wow, that does sound good" Rachel smiled before looking up at Shelby, "have they been okay?"

"As good as gold" she nodded truthfully. The girls had still been playing happily together when she'd come down from settling Rachel back to sleep, they'd watched a movie together and once that had finished, all the kids had jumped at the chance to draw a picture for Rachel. "I thought we could maybe go out to get some food in a little while" Shelby suggested.

Rachel bit her lip, "I can't affor…"

"My treat" Shelby insisted, and before you say anything, I want to take you all out, you're not taking advantage Rachel."

" Okay" she nodded, "in that case I think we'd enjoy that, I erm, I don't think I've ever been able to take them to a restaurant before."

"We'll go somewhere family friendly" Shelby promised, "so they're not overwhelmed."

Rachel nodded again, "thank you."

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, "do you want a coffee or some juice or something?"

"Some juice would be good, if you don't mind?"

"Of course not" Shelby handed Rebekah over to Rachel as she stood, collecting the cups she'd got for the girls, filling those up too before sitting back at the table, reaching out to gently tickle Jacob as he played happily. "Do you want to shower or anything before we go?"

"That would be good" Rachel nodded, "if I have time."

"Of course." Shelby smiled, "take as long as you need."

"I feel like I'm taking advantage" Rachel whispered, "you had the twins last night and you've had the kids all morning and…"

"And you've been doing it alone for years, you're allowed to take a few hours, or the whole day off, you know the kids are safe and being looked after so you take some time for yourself, you've earned it."

"Thank you" Rachel smiled before kissing Bekah's head as the toddler scribbled enthusiastically on the page, "are you going to be good for Shelby while Momma goes for a shower?" she asked the girls.

"I always good" Phoebe grinned.

Rachel raised an eyebrow, "you're always cheeky!" she told the girl, reaching out to tap her nose.

"I be good" Phoebe nodded, "promise."

"Me too" Abi whispered.

"Good" Rachel kissed them both, "I'll be back soon."

Shelby held her arms out to take Bekah back from Rachel, "take as long as you need" she told her daughter, "my hairdryer and straightener are on the dressing table in my room if you want to use them, and you can help yourself to anything else."

Rachel nodded, still feeling a little overwhelmed by Shelby's kindness and generosity, "thank you" she smiled, gently squeezing Shelby's shoulder before heading upstairs to shower.

"Momma come back?" Abi whispered.

"Of course she will" Shelby reassured her, "she's gone for a shower and to change out of her pyjamas but then she'll be back, she's only upstairs, she hasn't gone anywhere."

"You stay?"

"Of course" Shelby nodded, "We'll stay here and colour until Momma comes back okay?" Shelby realised just how little time Rachel had spent away from her children, briefly wondering if the twins had ever been away from Rachel before, and realised how lucky she was that the girls had been okay sitting with her all morning as Rachel slept.

"Okay" Abi nodded, "you draw too?"

Shelby nodded again, "what do you want me to draw?" she asked as she gently bounced Rebekah on her knee.

She couldn't help but smile at the frown on Abi's face as she thought for a minute before shyly suggesting, "f'owers?"

"Pink flowers or yellow flowers?" Shelby asked, reaching for the two crayons nearest to her.

"Pink" Abi whispered, smiling as Shelby began to draw,

Rachel spent longer than usual in the shower, usually she jumped in and out as quickly as possible once her kids were asleep, trying to get washed before the hot water ran out, but she didn't have to worry about that this time, and she stood under the powerful jetsfor a while, closing her eyes and trying her best not to think of anything, letting the water clean her body as she felt the steam clear her mind.

She'd packed her own toiletries but chose instead to use the ones Shelby had left in the bathroom, more luxurious and expensive than anything she'd used in a long time, choosing the cheapest products for herself and trying to buy something a little better for her children.

"Oh" Rachel felt tears fill her eyes as she poured the shampoo into her hand, recognising the scent instantly to be the same as Shelby used herself, and Rachel found something innately comforting in using the same products as her Mom.

She stepped from the shower once she was clean, reaching for a towel, sighing quietly as she wrapped the thick, fluffy fabric around her body, the towel slightly warm from the heated towel rail, the softness of the fabric the complete opposite from her own, thin, worn towels. She shook her head to try and clear her mind as she reached for a second towel, wrapping it around her hair before padding back to Shelby's guest room to get changed.

Once she was dressed in jeans and a plain black v neck sweater, both bought by Shelby the day before, she made her way down the hall to Shelby's room. She paused outside the door for a moment before slowly pushing it open and stepping into the room, wriggling her toes in the plush carpet as she took a minute to glance around the room.

She didn't want to pry so she simply made her way over to the dressing table, finding Shelby's hairdryer where the woman said she would and she quickly dried her hair before going back to the guest room to comb through her hair and pull it back into a neat ponytail before heading downstairs.

"Momma" Abi's face lit up when she saw Rachel.

"Hi Baby" Rachel smiled, "are you okay?"

"She thinked you'd gone 'way" Phoebe told Rachel, "but Shebby says you come back."

Rachel's smile grew as she heard Phoebe mispronounce Shelby's name, "Shelby's right, I'd never leave you forever, if I go anywhere I will always come back Darling, I just went to have a shower."

"Kay Momma" Abi nodded.

Shelby smiled at her daughter, "okay?"

Rachel nodded, "yeah, thanks"

"Do you want to…"

"Only if you're sure, you don't have to…"

"I'm sure" Shelby nodded "I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't."

"Okay" Rachel smiled, "thank you"

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, "but before we go, there's something else" she admitted, "and please don't say its too much, I wouldn't have brought it if it was."

Rachel nodded as Shelby sat Rebekah on her chair and made her way into the garage, returning just a few seconds later, "Mom" Rachel found her eyes filling with tears not even noticing the slip, "I…"

"I thought it would make life a bit easier for you." Shelby said softly.

"I didn't even know things like this existed" she whispered.

"Well they do" Shelby smiled, "and now you've got one."

"Thank you" Rachel reached out to gently run her hands along the hood of the buggy, "it's beautiful, I…"

Shelby smiled, it had taken a bit of searching but eventually she felt like she'd found a buggy that was both practical for Rachel, and didn't look ridiculous, the side by side double buggy had a seperate single stroller that attached to the front so Rachel wouldn't have to struggle with her three youngest children. "The front seat comes off too" Shelby told her, gesturing to the stroller, "so when Rebekah gets big enough to walk, you can just use it for your twins."

"It's perfect thank you" Rachel had bought her double buggy at a yard sale when she'd been pregnant with Abi, it had been well used then but it had been all she'd been able to afford, and she was actually surprised that it had lasted her this long, somehow managing to juggle her youngest four children between the buggy, a sling and, occasionally carrying Abi on her hip too. Shelby was right, this was going to make things so much easier for her.

Shelby turned the buggy round to show Rachel the back, Rachel frowning at something that looked almost like a skateboard with a seat on, "and I know Abi gets tired sometimes" Shelby had seen it herself, on more than one occasion she'd been the one to carry the young girl back from the park when her little legs were all played out, "this folds up out of the way if she wants to walk, but then if she gets tired, she can hop on and have a ride."

"Thank you" there were no words to express how grateful Rachel was for this, Shelby really had thought of everything.

"Why don't we take it with us?" Shelby suggested, "we can use it to get everyone inside and then fold it down out of the way."

"Yeah" Rachel nodded, "okay." She looked at Shelby for a moment before nervously asking, "can I hug you?"

Shelby held her arms out, "you don't have to ask Rachel". Shelby held her daughter closely until Rachel took a small step back, "are you okay?" Shelby asked.

"Yeah" Rachel smiled, "are you ready, I mean it would be good if we could get back before everyone gets cranky because it's nap time."

"Sure" Shelby grabbed her keys from the side before asking a question she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to, "are you going to come back here or would you like me to take you home afterwards?"

Rachel bit her lip and thought for a moment, "could you take me home?" she saw Shelby's face fall but continued anyway, "I only packed enough things for one night, if we're going to stay then I'll need to pack us some more clothes and diapers and things."

Shelby's face changed completely, the woman lighting up in joy, "you…"

"We'll stay for a few nights" Rachel nodded, "but I'd like you to talk to Beth before we consider anything more than that, this is her home too and I, there are so many of us, I don't want her to be uncomfortable in her home."

Shelby nodded, "I'll mention it when I speak to her tonight, but she knows all about you Rachel, she always has. She knows about you, she knows about Noah and Quinn. She knows I've been visiting you, she knows you've got children and she knows I was going to offer to let you stay here. She's not… I know I've made mistakes with you, but I want to think I've learnt from them with Beth. I've always been honest with her and she, I think she's excited at the prospect of meeting you and your kids one day."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "but don't, don't make her feel like she has to say yes to us living here, if she's not comfortable, if she'd rather we went home so she could meet us somewhere neutral and get to know us properly then…"

"Rachel" Shelby cupped her cheek with her hand, "stop worrying, I'll talk to Beth tonight and then we'll sort something out okay?" Rachel nodded and Shelby smiled, "now, lets get those babies of yours rounded up and in the car so we can go eat."


	10. Chapter 10

Lunch went more smoothly than Shelby or Rachel could have imagined. The kids all seemed amazed by the fact they could choose what they wanted, and to Rachel's surprise, none of her children acted up.

Full tummies meant that the twins fell asleep on their drive home and Abi and Bekah weren't far behind, but what surprised Shelby was the fact that Rachel too dozed off on the couch with her two youngest daughters in her arms after settling the twins down in the travel cots in Shelby's room.

"Momma's big" Phoebe frowned when she noticed Rachel was asleep, "she not need naptime."

"Anyone can have a nap if they get sleepy" Shelby told her, "I'm bigger than Mommy and I still nap sometimes."

"For reals?"

"For reals" Shelby nodded, "if you're tired Phoebe then you can nap too, nobody will mind."

"I'm not a baby!"

"No, you're a very helpful big girl, but sometimes being big and helpful is tiring, so you have a nap and then when you wake up you feel better and you can be big and helpful again ."

Shelby saw Phoebe think about her words and realised that, as hard as Rachel had tried to give her babies the best childhood she could, Phoebe had been trying to pick up the slack for her Momma, that she'd grown a lot more quickly than she needed to, and Shelby only hoped that she'd start to relax a little now, that she'd realise she could be a child like her siblings, that she didn't need to be the little firecracker who protected her family.

Shelby watched Phoebe for a while longer before suggesting, "why don't I wake Momma for a minute, we can all move upstairs to my big bed and put a movie on, if you decide to nap you'll be nice and comfy, and if you don't want to nap then you and I can snuggle for a while and watch the movie while everyone else naps."

"You nap too?"

"If you fall asleep then I probably will too, I don't know."

"Okay" Phoebe agreed, "we cuddle in your bed."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "why don't you go pick out a movie and I'll wake Momma."

"Wake her nice" Phoebe warned as she walked towards the book case that held Shelby's DVDs, "no scare her."

Shelby chuckled at how protective her oldest grandaughter was, and gently brushed Rachel's hair from her face, "Rachel" she whispered softly, "Rach."

Rachel stirred, "what… are…"

She couldn't help herself, after checking Phoebe's attention was still focused on the DVDs, Shelby dropped a gentle kiss to Rachel's hair, "everyone's fine" she said softly, "but I thought we might all be more comfortable if we moved upstairs, I've told Phee we can all cuddle up in my bed."

"Okay" Rachel stretched and yawned as she sat up, "if I take Abi up would you mind getting Bekah?"

"Of course not" Shelby smiled, "take her up, Phoebe's choosing a DVD, I'll bring Bekah up once she's done."

Rachel smiled, discretely reaching for Shelby's hand and squeezing it gently, "thank you."

Phoebe eventually chose out a movie and Shelby carefully lifted Rebekah from the couch, holding her against her chest with one arm, using her free hand to hold onto Phoebe's as they made their way upstairs. "Where's Momma?" Phoebe asked when they found Abi sleeping on the bed but Rachel not in the room.

"I don't know" Shelby said honestly, "maybe she's gone to the bathroom, why don't you pull the covers back so we can lay Abi and Bekah down properly, and if Mommy isn't back in a few minutes, I'll go see if I can find her."

Always happy to help, Phoebe put down the DVD and scrambled over to the bed, pulling back the thick duvet so Shelby could lay Bekah down before she moved Abi to lay under the covers. "Momma" Phoebe beamed as Rachel appeared in the doorway, "you comed back. We not know where you'd goned."

"I went to use the bathroom" Rachel lifted the four year old into her arms, "and I changed into something a little more comfortable."

"Good" Phoebe patted Rachel's cheeks, "you gotsta be comfy for naptime."

Rachel smiled, "are you going to nap too?"

Phoebe shrugged, "maybe, Shebby says we can watch a movie, if we fall asleep then we have naptime or we just snuggle if we're not sleepy."

"That sounds like a great plan to me" Rachel smiled, kissing Phoebe's cheek before handing her to Shelby, "I'd better let you two get snuggling then."

"Sweet Dreams Momma" Phoebe grinned as Shelby carried her round to the other side of the bed.

Rachel chuckled as she laid down beside Abi, gently stroking her cheek, "thanks Baby."

It didn't take long for Shelby and Phoebe to fall asleep, Shelby knowing Phoebe wouldn't last long as soon as the girl shuffled from sitting beside her to sitting in her lap and she carefully moved to lay down with her, wanting her to be comfortable.

Jake woke first and Shelby was quick to slip from the bed, lifting him into her arms to settle him before he woke Rachel and his siblings. She sat in bed with him, whispering nursery rhymes for a while, the baby content to just be held, but once Seth woke, Shelby decided to take them both downstairs to let everyone else sleep a little longer.

"What have you done to Phoebe?" Rachel asked when she came downstairs with Abi and Rebekah just half an hour after Shelby had brought the twins down, "that girl never naps, I even struggled when she was a baby, but she's still out for the count."

"Moana and cuddles" Shelby chuckled, "I'd say we weren't even 10 minutes into the movie when she started dropping off."

"You'll have to teach me your tricks" Rachel chuckled as she sat on the floor, Abi sitting on her knee and Bekah crawling over to a large wooden shape sorter.

"Momma" she looked up at Rachel, bashing at the toy with her hand as she babbled excitedly.

"I'll do it" Shelby chuckled, opening the toy and taking out the six wooden shapes, laying them on the floor beside the toddler.

"What do you say to Shelby?" Rachel asked as Bekah giggled and picked up the triangular block.

Rebekah looked up at Shelby, "ta" she grinned, clumsily blowing her a kiss.

"You're welcome" Shelby chuckled, running her hand over Bekah's hair as she watched her try and push the circular block into the triangular hole, "try this one" she pointed to the right hole, Rebekah shrieking with happiness when the block fell through the hole.

Phoebe padded sleepily down the stairs a while later, yawning and stretching, "I did a big nap" she announced as she padded over to sit beside Shelby.

"You did" Rachel smiled, "you must have been really tired."

"I said I was too big for naptime but Shebby said everyone can nap."

"Shelby's right" Rachel nodded before leaning in, "even I nap sometimes."

"Me too" Shelby smiled, "I even had a little nap this afternoon too."

"Really?" Phoebe turned to look up at her.

"Really" Shelby nodded, "I only woke up because Jake started to cry."

"But you're really big."

"It doesn't matter" Shelby wrapped her arm around Phoebe, "it doesn't matter how big people are, if they're tired they take a nap."

"Shelby's right" Rachel told her, "people nap because they're tired not because they're babies."

"Oh" Phoebe nodded, "okay." She thought for a minute before asking, "can I do a puzzle with Abi?"

They all played together for a while before Shelby stood to make dinner, Phoebe quickly asking if she could help, and Rachel couldn't help but smile, she had no doubt that Shelby loved all her grandchildren, but the bond she had with Phoebe seemed different somehow, the pair had hit it off from the first time they'd met and now Phoebe was like Shelby's shadow. It was one of the things that made Rachel want to accept Shelby's offer and move in with her.

Shelby was still a little full from the big lunch they'd had, and assumed the children wouldn't be too hungry either so she picked out a few items from the fridge, simple finger foods that everyone could pick at, "do you think you could help me with this?" she asked as she lifted Phoebe to sit on the sideboard, once she'd thrown a few chicken nuggets, potato wedges and onion rings in the oven "can you put a few of each of these into these bowls?" she asked, pointing to the bags of veggie sticks and the small bowls she'd placed on the side.

"Easy peasy" Phoebe nodded, putting carrot sticks, cucumber sticks and cherry tomatoes into three bowls.

"Right then" Shelby chuckled, "let's go something a bit harder this time" she put a block of cheese onto the chopping board, "think you can help me cut this?"

Phoebe looked unsure, "with a knife?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "but I'll help you so you don't hurt yourself.

"Okay" Phoebe grinned, "let's do it."

Shelby picked up a knife and held it out to Phoebe, wrapping her hand around the girl's, "the most important thing is to keep your fingers tucked away like this" she said as she covered Phoebe's free hand with her own, making a loose fist to show her what she meant. "And then we just go slowly and carefully" she said as she guided Phoebe to cut the cheese into small chunks, "Great job" she smiled when they'd finished.

"I did it?"

"You absolutely did!" Shelby smiled, holding up a hand for Phoebe to high five.

They put everything on the table once it was ready, Shelby just planning on letting everyone help themselves to whatever they wanted.

Phoebe was so proud of the fact that she'd helped, and Rachel and Shelby both heaping praise on the young girl, knowing just how much she liked to help.

The family went back into the living room once they'd eaten, Shelby leaving the food on the table so the girls could go back and get more if they wanted, and they played for a while before Rachel asked if she could bath her daughters, Shelby quickly telling her that she didn't need to ask, offering to keep an eye on the twins while she put the girls to bed.

The girls were asleep, Rachel giving both twins a bottle when Shelby's phone began to ring, "It's Beth" Shelby said, "I'll take it upstairs" she said softly, answering the call and exchanging pleasantries with her daughter, asking about her day before telling her, "there's something I need to talk to you about" as she made her way upstairs, sitting cross legged in the middle of her bed, smiling as she found Abi's rabbit pushed under her pillow and she held it in her lap, running her fingers over the worn fabric of it's ear.

"Is it a bad thing?" Beth asked.

"No, not at all" Shelby reassured her, "it's about Rachel, it's a long story" she told Beth, "but Rachel doesn't have room in her house for a bed for herself so she's been sleeping on her couch. We've got plenty of spare room here so I thought she and her children could move in with us, but Rachel wanted me to make sure you're okay with that."

"Okay" Beth nodded even though Shelby couldn't see her, "it would mean that you're not on you're own too."

"It would" Shelby agreed.

"Are they all going to sleep in the guest room?" Beth asked, "because that's going to be quite crowded."

"Rachel's daughter's are sleeping in your room at the moment but we're going to move them into the small bedroom that I used to use as an office, I'll clear it out and put everything in the garage, and Rachel will be in the guestroom with her twins.."

"But there's no bed in the little bedroom" Beth frowned.

"No, I've already ordered a bed, it should be here soon and for this weekend they can share with Rachel."

Shelby could almost her Beth's brain turning. "I don't live with you all the time anymore" Beth told her.

"I know Darling" Shelby wasn't sure where Beth was going with this.

"So I don't need a big bedroom do I?" Beth asked, "so let Rachel's girls stay in my bedroom. I can share with you this weekend and then I can go in the little bedroom when the bed comes."

Shelby was shocked at how mature Beth was being about the whole situation, "are you sure?" she asked, "Rachel's girls won't mind having the smaller bedroom Beth."

Beth shrugged, "they'll be sleeping in it more than me, and there's three of them and just one of me so they need the space more than me."

"That's very kind of you Beth" Shelby was almost moved to tears by her youngest daughter's generosity, "if you're sure then I'll move your things into the room, and when you come home for the summer we can redecorate, make it yours."

"Okay, can we paint it blue?"

"Of course, if that's what you want."

"Yeah, I've got to go now Mom, it's bath time, but I'll text you goodnight later and I'll call you tomorrow, tell Rachel I can't wait to meet her."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, "sleep well and have a good day tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too Mom. I'll text you before I go to sleep."

"Okay" Shelby smiled, repeating that she loved Beth again before ending the call and making her way back downstairs.

"I've spoken to Beth about you moving in" Shelby sat beside Rachel on the couch, holding her arms out to take one of the twins from Rachel.

Rachel kissed Seth's had before passing him over to Shelby, watching as she laid him against her chest and gently rubbed his back, sensing that he was already well on his way to sleep. "Is she…"

"She's fine with you all being here" Shelby told her, "in fact she even suggested that the girls have her room and she'll move into the smaller bedroom."

"No, no, she can't do that, I don't want to kick her out of her room."

"She offered Rachel" Shelby glanced down as she felt Seth nuzzle into her, "she was the one who suggested it. She's got Noah and Quinn's DNA and she's been raised by me. Do you think that girl does anything she doesn't want to do?"

Rachel chuckled, "no, I suppose not."

"I'm not going to force you into anything" Shelby shifted her hold on Seth so she had a hand free to gently squeeze Rachel's arm, "and no matter where you live I will continue to support you however you need me to, whether that be physically, emotionally or financially." she held out her hand to stop Rachel protesting, "you've done this on your own for so long now Rachel, don't be afraid to ask me for help if you need it."

"I feel like you're doing too much" Rachel admitted, "like I've forced you to take on the responsibility of children that aren't yours."

"They might not be my children but they're my grandchildren, they're my family and you are my child Rachel. And you haven't forced me into anything. The first time I saw you, you told me I'd mistaken you for someone else. I could have walked away then but I didn't. I chose to find you, I chose to send you the gifts, the money, I chose to help you Rachel and I chose to invite you, and your babies to stay, to live with me. If I didn't want to do that then I wouldn't have invited you here. You didn't turn up here with five kids and a suitcase demanding that I let you in. Everything I've done for you, I've done because I wanted to do it. You haven't forced me into anything Rachel."

Rachel kept her gaze on the baby in her arms to hide her tears as she whispered, "I don't know what to do."

"You have two choices" Shelby told her gently, and that choice is yours and yours alone, you can stay here, or you can go back to your home. But if you go home, I will be buying you a pullout couch, with a decent mattress and proper bedding, I won't argue with you about that. I know you're doing your best for your children but you need to look after yourself too Rachel, and you need to get some proper sleep."

"Can I think about it?" Rachel asked nervously.

"Of course" Shelby smiled, "why don't we we get these sleepy little boys in their cribs, either in my room or in yours, and then we can open a bottle of wine and put on a movie or something."

Rachel nodded, "that sounds good" she couldn't remember the last time she'd been able to do something like that, usually so exhausted that, after putting her kids to bed, she'd simply shower and then go to bed herself.

"How about we leave the cribs in my room tonight to save moving them, but if you want to sleep in with them then you can take my room and I'll take the guest room for tonight" Shelby suggested as she stood with Seth in her arms.

"I can't as…"

"You're not" Shelby interrupted, "It was my suggestion, if you're not comfortable with it then we can move the cribs, or I can watch the boys again, whatever you're most comfortable with." Rachel said nothing as she walked upstairs with Shelby, but Shelby knew there was something on her mind and she took Rachel into her bedroom, sitting on her bed and gesturing for Rachel to sit beside her, "talk to me" she said softly, "what's wrong."

Rachel didn't know why she suddenly felt so vulnerable around Shelby. She'd managed on her own since Phoebe was born, she'd kept her family together, managed to keep a roof over her kids heads, food in their bellys and clothes on their backs by any means necessary, but now, now Shelby was here and the strong, independent woman Rachel had become had vanished and she felt like a small girl who just wanted her Momma.

"Can I sleep in here?" she whispered.

"Of course you can" Shelby nodded, "with the boys?"

Rachel nodded, her voice shaking as she asked, "and you too?"

Shelby reached out with the hand that wasn't holding her grandson and gently cupped Rachel's cheek, "if that's what you want then of course."


	11. Chapter 11

This is a bit of a filler chapter, not much happens but there's lots of fluff between Shelby and Rachel and Shelby and her grandbabies, so I hope that's okay for you!

* * *

Rachel and Shelby shared a bottle of wine and watched a movie together one the kids were all settled, and they kept the chat light, Shelby not bringing up Rachel's living situation, deciding to let her daughter take as much time as she needed to make her decision.

"I think someone's ready for bed" Shelby teased as the film finished, Rachel was tucked into her side, her head on Shelby's shoulder as Shelby played with her hair.

"I can't remember the last time I slept so much" Rachel yawned as she sat up and stretched.

Shelby smiled and gently stroked Rachel's cheek with her hand, "you obviously need it" she said softly, "and before you say anything, I don't mind you getting as much rest as you need to."

"Thank you" Rachel smiled.

"It's not a problem" Shelby smiled, "you go get ready for bed" she said softly, "I'll check everything's locked up and turned off down here and then come and join you."

Rachel was stood by the bed when Shelby walked into the room, "I didn't know if you had a preference" she gestured to the bed.

"Usually right down the middle" Shelby laughed, "I don't mind."

"Okay" Rachel gestured to the side she was stood by, the side furthest from the door, "can I…?"

"Of course" Shelby nodded as she opened a drawer and took out some pyjamas, "make yourself at home" she smiled before slipping into her ensuite.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Rachel asked as Shelby joined her in the bed, "me sleeping here."

Shelby rolled onto her side to face her daughter, "do you think I'd have told you it was okay if it wasn't?" she asked softly.

Rachel shook her head, stretching her hand out under the covers, Shelby getting the hint and taking it in her own, "no" she whispered, "this is just… I'm so used to doing everything on my own."

"I know" Shelby gently squeezed Rachel's hand, "and I know it's probably going to take you a while to get used to the idea, but I mean what I said, I'm not going anywhere. Whether you live here or you go back to your house, I'll still support you, I'll still help you with whatever it is you want, whatever you need me to help you with."

"I know" Rachel nodded, "and I believe you I do, just, like you said, it's probably going to take me a while to get used to the fact I'm not on my own any more."

Shelby reached out with her free hand and brushed Rachel's hair from her face, "we can just take it one day at a time" she told her, "but for now, you need to sleep." Rachel nodded again, failing to hold back her yawn, "do you want me to sing to you again?"

Rachel looked up at Shelby, "will you?"

"Of course, now you get settled and close your eyes." Shelby waited until Rachel's eyes fluttered shut before she began to sing softly, running her fingers through Rachel's hair until she was sure she'd fallen asleep.

Shelby stirred at the sound of her bedroom door creaking open in the middle of the night, smiling sleepily as, in the soft light from the landing, she saw Abi stood in the doorway, "are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"Momma gone" she whispered and Shelby could hear the tears in the young girl's voice, rightly guessing that the girl had gone into the guest room in search of her Mom and got upset when she found the room empty.

"Momma's here" Shelby held her arms out, "do you want to get in with us? Abi nodded and shyly walked over to the bed, letting Shelby lift her into the bed, settling her between herself and Rachel, "see, she's sleeping right here."

"Me s'eep here too?" Abi looked up at Shelby.

Shelby nodded, "of course" she said softly, running her fingers through Abi's hair, "you close your eyes and go back to sleep Darling."

Abi tucked herself into Rachel's side and fell asleep almost instantly, comforted by the closeness of her Momma and the repetitive feeling of Shelby stroking her back, and, even though she knew she should try and go back to sleep, Shelby couldn't help but lay and watch her daughter and her grandaughter sleeping, feeling lucky that, after everything, she was able to be this close to them.

"Shebby" she jumped slightly, hadn't heard Phoebe padding down the hall, "Abi's not in her bed."

"She's in here" Shelby rolled over to face the door, "she wanted Momma and Momma's sleeping here too."

"Oh" Phoebe didn't move from the doorway.

"Do you want to sleep in here too?" Shelby asked.

Phoebe reluctantly shook her head, "Bekah get scared, I s'eep her" she didn't want her youngest sister to wake on her own.

Shelby sat up and held her arms out to Phoebe, scooping the girl into her arms as she walked over, kissing her head before laying her beside Abi, "you get comfy, I'll go fetch Bekah, we can all sleep in here" she promised.

Even in the semi darkness, Shelby saw Phoebe's face light up, "really?"

Shelby nodded and kissed Phoebe's forehead again before getting out of bed, "really."

Shelby made her way through to Beth's room, smiling as she saw Bekah sprawled out across the air bed Shelby had bought for her, "we're going to have to get you a proper bed aren't we?" she whispered as she gently lifted the toddler into her arms and rocked her gently to keep her settled, "so that even if Momma doesn't want to stay here, you'll still be able to come for sleepovers sometimes." She dropped a kiss to Bekah's crown before carrying her through to her own bedroom once she was sure she wouldn't wake. She smiled when she saw Phoebe sat up in bed, the duvet pooled in her lap, "are you going to shuffle over and let us get in?" she asked quietly, smiling as Phoebe shuffled closer to Abi, "okay?" Shelby asked Phoebe once she was laid in bed, Bekah against her chest.

"Yeah" Phoebe nodded.

"Are you going to lay down then?" Shelby reached up to stroke Phoebe's back. Phoebe nodded and silently moved to lay between Shelby and Abi, "what's wrong?" she asked quietly.

"Will Mommy be mad?" Phoebe finally asked, "that we all here?"

"I don't think so" Shelby kissed her forehead, "and anyway, this is my bed and I said you could all sleep in here, even Mommy, so you don't need to worry about anything Darling."

Shelby and Phoebe whispered together for a while, Shelby knew it was late, knew the girl should be sleeping, but there was no reason for her to be up early in the morning and Shelby didn't want Phoebe to feel like she couldn't talk to her.

"Do you want me to tell you a story?" Shelby whispered once their conversation stopped but Phoebe still didn't seem to be able to settle. "Okay" Shelby smiled when she felt Phoebe nod against her arm, "close your eyes and get comfy" she said, waiting for the girl to settle, "once upon a time…"

Phoebe fell asleep before Goldilocks had even found the three bears' house, her head against Shelby's arm, Abi's hand held in her own as Abi cuddled into Rachel.

"It's a good job you, your siblings and your Mommy are good sleepers," Shelby whispered to the toddler sleeping on her chest, kissing her forehead before letting her own eyes close.

Rachel woke the next morning to the feel of something pressing into the small of her back and she assumed that Shelby was so used to sleeping alone that she'd stretched out in the night, so she was surprised to roll over and find that it was, in fact, Abi's knee that she'd felt. She was even more surprised to find Phoebe was cuddled into Abi and Bekah was sprawled out on Shelby's chest. She knew she was tired, but she didn't know she'd been tired enough to sleep through her girls climbing into bed and she could only hope that Shelby wouldn't be too angry when she woke.

She carefully moved to wrap her arm around Phoebe and Abi, it had been a long time since she'd been able to comfortably cuddle her daughters in bed, before Bekah had been born, and the thought of being able to wake up like this in future was almost reason enough alone to make her accept Shelby's offer.

Rachel laid holding Abi and Phoebe until she heard a quiet gurgle from one of the travel cots in the corner of the room indicating Seth was awake, the younger of her twins content with his own company, Jake always woke with a cry, wanting everyone to know he was no longer sleeping.

"Good Morning" Rachel smiled as she lifted him into her arms, "that's a lovely smile you've got for me isn't it" she whispered as she gently tickled his stomach, the baby gurgling back in response. "Your brother and your sisters are still sleeping" Rachel gently rocked her son, "so why don't we go and get you a bottle while we wait for them to wake?"

Rachel carried Seth downstairs, humming quietly to him as she made him a bottle, smiling as he began to gulp hungrily, Rachel grateful for the machine Shelby had bought that made formula at the right temperature for her babies to drink instantly so she didn't have to wait for a bottle to cool, or risk warming a cold bottle in the microwave.

"We'll have to look into getting one of those for home won't we?" Rachel mused as she made her way to sit on the couch, "if we go home." She curled up on the couch with Seth in her arms and pulled the throw from the back of the couch, wrapping it around the pair of them. "Shelby wants us to stay here with her." She couldn't help but smile as she saw Seth smile around the bottle in his mouth, "you don't care where we live do you?" she chuckled, "as long as you've got a roof over your head and milk in your tummy, it makes no difference to you does it?" She wiped a drop of milk from the corner of Seth's mouth, "and I… living here would be nice, Shelby had a nicer house than we do, there's more space, and it's obviously nice for me to have someone here that's willing to help me, because I love you, don't get me wrong I love all of you so, so much, but it's hard. Doing this on my own, it's hard and I… " she sighed. "Shelby should be able to live her own life, without me burdening her and filling her house with kids."

"You are not burdening me". Rachel hadn't heard Shelby come downstairs with Jake and Rebekah, "I don't know how I can make you believe it Rachel, but you are only here, I have only asked you to stay here, because I want you here." She sat Rebekah and Jake down on the couch and kissed Rachel's forehead, "Abi and Phee are still sleeping, I'm going to make Jake a bottle."

"Thank you" Rachel smiled softly, before shaking her head when Rebekah slipped from the sofa.

"I go" she announced, before racing after Shelby as quickly as her little legs could carry her.

"What have you got there?" Rachel asked as Bekah toddled back into the living room a while later with a plastic bowl in her hands, Shelby following close behind with a bottle for Jake and a sippy cup for Bekah in her hands.

"Mine" Bekah grinned as she sat down on the floor with the bowl on her lap.

"I know it's yours" Rachel rolled her eyes. "I just wondered what it was."

"Strawberry and banana" Shelby smiled, putting Bekah's cup of warm milk beside her before she sat beside Rachel, "can I…" she gestured to Jake, the baby beginning to fuss hungrily as he sat on the sofa, propped against Rachel's side, "or would you rather do it?"

"You can do it if you want to" Rachel told her, "but I don't mind if you've got something else to be doing."

Shelby shook her head and lifted her Grandson into her arms and offered him the bottle, "I've cleared my schedule for the rest of the week, I'm all yours."

Rachel watched as Shelby fed Jake, her gaze moving from her mother to her daughter who'd abandoned her breakfast in favour of a set of multicoloured stacking cups that she was playing happily with, "I've been thinking about what you said" Rachel said softly.

"Yeah?" Shelby didn't push.

"Can we use this weekend as a trial run?" Rachel asked, "I know Beth has said she's fine with it but the thought of living with five young children is a lot different to actually doing it. So we see how this weekend goes. If Beth is okay with us all being here then we'll stay. If she's not then we'll go home, at least when Beth's here and let her build a relationship with us at her own pace."

Shelby nodded, "that sounds fair" she agreed, pausing for a moment before asking, "have you thought about calling Noah?"

Rachel nodded, "I will call him" she said quietly, "next week" she decided on the spot, "once I know whether we'll be here or at home."

"Okay" Shelby leaned over to kiss Rachel's temple, "but even if you're not living here, you know you'd be welcome here anytime?"

"I know" Rachel shuffled closer to Shelby, letting her head fall onto her Mom's shoulder, "I know."


	12. Chapter 12

I'm sorry it's been so long, but I hit a huge wall that I just couldn't get over, and I wasn't happy with anything I wrote. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter either, but it's a lot better than the attempts that I deleted. I won't be going back to regular updates, but I do have a couple of ideas, namely the weekend with Beth and Rachel calling Noah, so hopefully it won;t be too long before I update again, but if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, than feel free to let me know in a review or drop me a PM

* * *

"Shebby" Phoebe whispered, not quite as quietly as she thought she did, as she walked into the living room, hand in hand with Abi, "is Momma sleeping?"

"No baby" Rachel smiled, opening her eyes and sitting up, "I'm awake" she held out her arms and the girls both climbed onto her lap.

"Abi's hung'y" Phoebe told her Momma.

"Well you two have been asleep for a long time" Rachel smiled before looking to Shelby.

"You don't need to ask" Shelby told her, "you can either go help yourself to anything, or I can make you all something."

"Thank you" Rachel turned her attention back to her daughters, "what would you like?"

Phoebe shrugged, not sure what her options were, "toast?" Abi suggested.

"We can have toast" Rachel nodded as she stood, Phoebe taking her hand and Abi stood on her hip, "would you like some toast?" she asked Shelby.

"I'd love some" Shelby nodded, "how about I come through and make us coffee while you make the toast?" she suggested.

"Yeah" Rachel smiled, thanking Shelby as the girls jumped off her lap, allowing Rachel to pick up both twins, "that would be nice."

"Me too?" Bekah asked, sitting back on her heels.

Rachel chuckled, "you've already eaten Missy."

"No, me too!"

"Okay" Rachel rolled her eyes and nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen, "come on then." She stood with a twin on each hip, Abi and Phoebe, hand in hand a step in front of her.

Rachel froze, spinning quickly when she heard Bekah shriek and then a cry of "no!" but she couldn't stop her smile, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as she realised her daughter's cry was a playful one as Shelby chased the toddler across the living room, spinning her into the air and tickling her stomach once she 'caught' her.

She strapped her sons into the two highchairs at the kitchen table, watching as Phoebe helped Abi up onto a chair before scrambling up to sit beside her sister, reaching for the colouring books and crayons that Shelby had left on the table, "we colour Abi?" she grinned, passing a colouring book to her sister and tipping the crayons out onto the table when she got a nod in response.

"Okay?" Shelby asked, putting her free hand on Rachel's back as she stood behind her, noticing how her daughter was just watching her own daughters.

"Yeah" Rachel smiled, "just thinking." It wasn't a lie, she was thinking, thinking about how much more homely Shelby's house was than her own, about how much happier her babies seemed to be here.

"Okay" Shelby didn't push, knew Rachel would open up to her when she was ready.

Rachel watched as Shelby strapped Bekah into a booster seat beside her sisters, passing her some paper as she'd seen her sisters colouring and once again asked, "me too?"

"Thank you" Shelby smiled when Abi passed a handful of crayons to her younger sister, the toddler instantly beginning to scribble excitedly, her crayon mostly staying on the paper. "Come on" Shelby put her hand on Rachel's hip, tugging her gently away from the table, "let's make breakfast."

"Hmm?" Rachel had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard Shelby's words.

"Come here" Shelby wasn't entirely sure what was going through her daughter's mind, but she guessed she could use some comfort. She didn't say anything but simply wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her close.

Rachel sighed, feeling tension leave her body as she almost melted into her Mom's embrace. It was times like these when Rachel was reminded how different this Shelby was. She'd hugged her Mom a couple of times when she was in her teens, she could remember the sweet floral scent of her, no doubt, ridiculously expensive perfume, but not any more. Now when Rachel hugged her Mom she was surrounded by a scent that would only ever bring her comfort and she could understand why her babies were always quick to fall asleep with Shelby. Rachel couldn't stop herself nuzzling into Shelby, closing her eyes at the sweet vanilla scent that filled her nose, mixed with hints of mint and coffee to make a scent that was uniquely Shelby, a scent that Rachel found more comforting than she could ever imagine.

Shelby felt Rachel relax against her, felt Rachel's head drop against her shoulder so she said nothing but began gently stroking Rachel's back, planning on holding her daughter for as long as she needed to be held, or at least, for as long as the kids would let her.

Rachel took a deep breath a few moments later, Shelby loosening her embrace but not letting go when she felt Rachel straighten up slightly, "thank you" said as she eventually pulled away, "I, I needed that."

"It's okay" Shelby smiled, brushing Rachel's hair back from her face, "you don't have to ask, any time you need a hug you just come and get one okay? You'd never say no if one of your babies needed a hug, I'll never say no to my babies either, no matter how old they get."

Just like they'd agreed, Rachel made toast for everyone as Shelby poured juice for the kids and made coffee for herself and Rachel, before they sat down to eat together, something Rachel had rarely done in her own home, usually too busy to be able to sit with her children, she often skipped meals, the few that she did eat were frequently eaten cold once the children had finished, too busy helping Bekah or Abi, or dealing with the twins, or washing dishes, or sorting laundry, to eat at the same time as her children.

"Momma" Phoebe spoke with a mouth full of toast, chewing and swallowing before speaking again after Rachel raised one eyebrow in her direction. "Can we play outside today?" she asked, "like at the park p'ease?"

Rachel nodded, her daughters never really asked for much, but when they did it was usually something simple like an extra story or a trip to the park, "I'm sure we can do that."

"There's a park about a ten minute walk from here" Shelby told Rachel.

"Are there ducks?" Abi asked quietly.

"There are" Shelby nodded, "we can go see them if you want?"

Abi nodded and Phoebe spoke up, telling Shelby, "she not like it if they get near her."

"That's okay, we can stand away from them, we don't have to get too close."

With Shelby's help, it didn't take Rachel long to get everyone ready to go the park and Rachel was a little overwhelmed when she strapped her three youngest children into the buggy Shelby had brought for her, unable to believe that she didn't have to struggle any more.

Shelby took the buggy, letting Rachel walk with her two oldest daughters, the simple act of being able to hold their Momma's hand meaning the world to the two girls. They walked around the lake to see the ducks before heading to the small play area, Shelby promising to keep an eye on the twins so that Rachel could give her three daughters her undivided attention, something she was rarely able to do.

By the time they arrived back at Shelby's home, Bekah and the twins were fast asleep in the buggy and, to her delight, Rachel gave Phoebe a piggy back home as Abi rode on the buggy board.

"Ta Momma" Phoebe giggled when Rachel helped her down off her back before helping Shelby lift the buggy into the house, Abi and Phoebe kicking off their shoes ans running off into the living room hand in hand to play.

"I feel like I should be saying the same to you" Rachel looked up at Shelby.

Shelby gently cupped Rachel's cheek with her hand and looked her in the eye, "you have nothing to thank me for Rachel. And I will keep telling you that until you believe me okay."

Rachel nodded and reached for Shelby's hand, squeezing it gently, "I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you've done, I appreciate you. I, I don't want you to think I'm taking any of this for granted."

"I don't" Shelby reassured her, "and for the record, I appreciate you letting me be here, I appreciate you letting me in, I know that after everything that happened when you were younger, well, you had every right to tell me to get lost."

Rachel shook her head, tightening her grip on Shelby's hand, trying to keep her tears at bay "you, you walked back into my life when everyone else had walked out. I…" she closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Rachel" Shelby reached up to wipe away the tear Rachel couldn't hold back. Rachel shook her head again so Shelby gently pulled her over to the stairs, sitting down and carefully pulling Rachel to sit a few steps below her, it was a tactic her own mother had used when she was a teen, she still got the comfort of her Mom being close without the awkwardness of having to make eye contact, "what is it?" she asked as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair.

Rachel couldn't stop herself, the position she found herself making it easy for her to lay her head in Shelby's lap. "I don't know what I'd have done" Rachel admitted, "if you hadn't, if you'd have believed me in the store, if you hadn't found me. It was hard" she whispered, tears rolling freely down her face, "I could barely make ends meet when I just had the girls, and then, it…I don't even know how I was managing. The twins, I needed a c section and I, I got lucky, there was an old couple who lived just down the street from us, they were so good to me, to all of us, they used to buy gifts for the girls and bring round 'extra' food they'd cooked. They watched the girls for me, but I felt so guilty that I only stayed in hospital one night, the boys weren't even 24 hours old when I discharged myself and went home on the bus because I couldn't afford a cab."

"Oh Rachel" Shelby's heart broke for her daughter and she wished she'd been around from the start, that her daughter had never had to struggle.

"I don't think I've ever been in so much pain" Rachel whispered, unable to stop now she'd started, "and I was so scared of something going wrong but I couldn't leave someone else with my kids any longer. And then it just… I, I couldn't make it work anymore and I, I sold everything we didn't need, stopped thinking about what I needed, I, I'd go to bed after the kids were asleep even though I knew I wouldn't sleep, but just so I could turn off the heat and wouldn't be using any electricity." Rachel closed her eyes and bit her lip before telling Shelby, "I started to understand why my fathers did what they did because it seemed like the only way out" she whispered, "but I, I couldn't do that to my babies."

Shelby didn't think her heart could hurt any more for her baby than it already was, but Rachel's confession that she'd even considered suicide as an option broke her even more than she already had and she found herself wiping away tears of her own," I'm glad you didn't" Shelby whispered, "I'm glad you kept fighting, that you managed to keep yourself afloat long enough for me to find you."

"I, I know it makes me a terrible mother, and I promised myself I'd never walk away from my children but I, I'd been looking into giving them up" Rachel whispered, so quietly Shelby barely heard her, "I want the best for them always, and I thought, I knew that they deserved better than I could give them."

"That doesn't make you a bad Mom Rachel, it makes you scared and worried, it makes you a Mom who was out of her depth, it makes you a Mom who's willing to do absolutely anything for her children, even if that means breaking her own heart. You were putting your babies needs before your own Rachel, that doesn't ever make you a bad parent."

Rachel signed quietly, keeping her head on Shelby's lap as Shelby continued to play with her hair. She didn't know what else to say, strangely felt lighter having voiced the thoughts she'd been keeping bottled for so long, "thank you" she whispered, "for letting me get that off my chest."

"You can always come to me Rach, no matter how you're feeling, no matter what's going on you can come to me." She continued stroking her fingers through Rachel's hair as she told her, "I need to ask though Rachel, "when you said you understood why your dads did what they did, is that something… do you think you need to see someone to talk through those thoughts, hell, do you want to see someone to talk through all of this, to talk through anything?"

Rachel lifted her head, twisting slightly to look at Shelby, cheeks damp and eyes shining with tears," you think I need a shrink?"

"No" Shelby wiped at Rachel's tears with her thumbs, "I think you've been through a lot, that there's a lot going on in your head, you've been through stuff that people twice your age would struggle with, and you've been strong for so, so long that you might appreciate a safe space to offload and decompress, and you will always have that with me, but, I want to know if you think that you'd benefit from speaking to someone distanced from it all, someone who can teach you coping methods and who can help you unpack and deal with everything you've kept bottled up."

"I…" Shelby knew Rachel was going to protest so she held up her index finger to stop her.

"You don't need to answer me right now. You can think about it for as long as you need, and, before you say it, we both know that I wont expect you to pay for it, and, if it is something you want to do, I'll be sure I'm free to watch your babies while you're at your appointment."

Rachel nodded as Shelby wiped at her tears again, "I, I'll think about it" she nodded, her head falling on to Shelby's shoulder, "but I… If you're, if you're sure about the cost then I, I think I'll probably take you up on that offer."

Shelby kissed Rachel's hair, "take your time to think about it if that's what you want to do" she wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist, "and we can look for someone when you're ready."

"Thank you" Rachel whispered, not moving, content to be held by her Mom for a while.

Her head snapped up and she wiped frantically at her eyes when Phoebe walked out from where she'd been playing with her sister in the living room, "Momma, can we… Oh" she frowned when she saw Rachel's tears, "you sad Momma?"

"I'm okay baby" Rachel wrapped her arms around her oldest child, "I was talking to Shelby and I got a little sad but I'm okay."

"Shebby cuddle you? Make you better?" she asked when she saw her Momma was tucked into Shelby's side, Shelby's arm around Rachel's waist.

"She did" Rachel smiled, "were you looking for me?" she changed the subject.

"Oh yeah" Phoebe giggled, "can me and Abi have a drink Momma?"

Rachel looked to Shelby but Shelby shook her head, "you don't have to ask" she reminded her, smiling as Rachel thanked her before taking Phoebe's hand and letting the girl lead her into the kitchen. Shelby stayed sat on the stairs for a minute, holding her head in her hands as she processed Rachel's words, her daughter had been through so much and she'd had to face it alone. She hated Hiram and Leroy, they'd forced her away from Rachel and then they'd taken their own lives, leaving Rachel to deal with everything on her own. She wished she'd fought harder, that she'd tried to keep in contact with her teenage daughter, but, as she heard a quiet cry from the buggy as one of her grandsons woke, she knew she couldn't dwell on that, she could only focus on the future, and she was sure that Rachel would never have to face anything on her own again.

Shelby made a 'picnic' for lunch, spreading out blankets on the living room floor and serving sandwiches, veggie sticks and other food the girls could help themselves to, the novelty of having a picnic inside putting a smile on the faces of all three girls.

After an afternoon playing together, Rachel helped Shelby make dinner as the girls coloured happily at the table, they all loved to colour, it was something they'd done a lot, it was cheap for them to do and kept them entertained for a while, something that came in handy for the days where Rachel was just too exhausted to do anything more than just survive.

The girls went off to play again after they'd eaten, Shelby loading the dishwasher as Rachel made bottles for the twins, despite another nap after lunch Rachel could tell they were getting tired. "Why don't you have a shower or something when you've settled the twins down?" Shelby suggested as she watched her daughter, "I'll watch the girls."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. You've done this on your own for so long but you're not on your own anymore. You don't have to worry, or feel guilty for taking some time for yourself."

"Thank you" Rachel nodded, deciding not to argue, to accept her Mom's offer of help, and she hugged her briefly before taking Jacob and Seth upstairs to settle them down for the night.

As Shelby suggested, she took a long shower once they were asleep, taking her time as she shampooed and conditioned her hair, used to rushing through her routine as quickly as possible just in case one of her children woke and needed her, after bedtime being the only time Rachel usually showered, not wanting to leave her children for too long when they were awake.

Rachel felt a lot more relaxed when she came downstairs after her shower, but she frowned slightly at the noise she could hear and followed the sound through the house, her heart melting at what she found.

Rebekah was playing happily with some blocks on the floor beside a grand piano, Shelby sat on the piano bench, Phoebe by her side and Abigail on her lap, a baby monitor sat on top of the piano so Shelby would be able to hear if the twins woke while Rachel was showering.

"Momma" Phoebe beamed when she saw Rachel, "look what I do" she smiled, sitting a little straighter before clumsily playing the scale Shelby had tried to teach her, she hit several wrong notes but the proud smile on her face was priceless.

"That's brilliant baby" she smiled, picking Rebekah up when she toddled over and held out her arms.

"Shebby says I'm good."

"You are" Rachel nodded, "really good!"

"And me" Abi whispered, Rachel watching as Shelby pointed to each of the keys in turn for Abigail to press, Rachel realising that, whilst Phoebe probably jumped in head first and gave it a go, Abi would have needed a little bit more coaxing and Rachel loved that Shelby seemed to understand that.

"You're both brilliant" Rachel smiled, "what do you say to Shelby for teaching you?"

Both girls wrapped their arms around her, Abi nuzzling into her neck as Phoebe gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, "Thank you Shebby" Phoebe beamed.

"Ta Lelly" Abi whispered.

Shelby kissed both girls, "you're welcome, and if it's okay with Mommy, we can play again tomorrow, but I think it's bedtime now".

"Can we Momma?" Phoebe asked excitedly as she walked over to Rachel, "can we play the pianny again amorrow?"

"Of course" Rachel thanked Shelby as Abi was passed over to her, "if it's okay with Shelby then maybe the three of you could play while I put Bekah and the boys to bed."

"Yeah" Phoebe beamed as she bounded towards the stairs, "we can do that."

Rachel smiled, silently mouthing 'thank you' to her Mom as she went to tuck her girls into bed.

When Rachel came downstairs Shelby had moved to the couch, an open bottle of wine beside two glasses on the coffee table, Shelby flicking through the Netflix menu as she looked for something to watch.

"I think you've made Phoebe's entire life" Rachel said as she sat down beside her Mom. "She wouldn't stop talking about getting to play your piano."

"They were both very good students" Shelby smiled, handing Rachel the remote and leaning over to pour out the wine. "Are you okay?" she asked when she sat back and saw that Rachel hadn't moved, that in fact, all she'd done was watch her, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't worried about her daughter after her earlier confession.

"Can I tell them?" Rachel blurted out before she could stop herself, "Abi and Phee. Can I tell them you're my Mom?"


	13. Chapter 13

I'm working on the chapter where Beth meets Rachel and her kids, but then I had a little idea that wouldn't leave me alone so I thought I'd give you a bit of a fluffy filler chapter in the meantime.

If there's anything that you'd like to see happen, feel free to let me know in a review or drop me a PM.

* * *

Rachel slept in her 'own' bed that night, she and Shelby had moved the furniture around in the guestroom earlier that day to make room for the two travel cribs Shelby had bought for Jacob and Seth, Rachel feeling guilty about the fact Shelby had been the one to get up with the boys since they'd been staying with her.

She wasn't surprised at all when she woke the next morning to find all three of her girls had joined her in bed at some point during the night. The girls had never been able to cuddle in bed with her before, once or twice when they'd been ill, Rachel had spent a sleepless night sat on the floor, leaning against the bed of one of her daughters, but now they could cuddle up whenever they wanted to, and Rachel relished being able to spend the morning with her girls in her arms.

"Come in" Rachel called softly when she heard a gentle knock on the door.

"Morning" Shelby smiled as she walked into the room, "I just wondered if you were ready for breakfast yet?"

"Actually" Rachel smiled, "I wanted to talk to Abi and Phee before breakfast."

Shelby nodded, "okay" she knew Rachel was going to tell the girls about their relationship, they'd spoken about it for a while the night before, Shelby unable to stop her tears when Rachel had asked what Shelby wanted the girls to call her. "Do you want me to…" she gestured to the door, not sure if Rachel wanted to tell the girls on her own or not.

"It's up to you" Rachel shrugged, "you can stay if you want?"

"Stay Shebby" Phoebe grinned, "we snugglin'" she looked up at Rachel, "can Shebby snuggle too?"

Rachel looked up at Shelby, not sure if she'd want to join them, "she can if she wants to, but she might have other things to do" she wanted to give her Mom an out if she wanted it.

Shelby looked at Rachel, Rachel giving a slight nod to let Shelby know it was okay if she stayed, "I can snuggle with you if you want" she nodded.

"I do want" Phoebe held out her arms, "c'mon"

"Okay" Shelby chuckled, lifting Phoebe into her arms before getting into bed, smiling as Bekah babbled happily from where she was sat in the middle of the bed playing with a couple of toys, "well good morning to you too".

"Are you going to say hi too?" Rachel asked Abi, the girl not completely awake yet.

"Hi" Abi waved shyly from her spot on Rachel's lap.

Shelby smiled and returned the wave as Rachel kissed Abi's hair, "there's something you want to talk to you both about" Rachel took a deep breath, "you know we've been staying here with Shelby?"

"Is we going back Momma?" Phoebe asked, her grip tightening on Shelby's arm, not wanting to leave.

"Not yet" Rachel shook her head. "But you know how Shelby came to visit a lot before we came to stay here? And she did lots of nice things to help us out, like buying us all those clothes and getting you toys and helping me look after you?"

"Cos she loves us" Phoebe interrupted again.

"That's right" Shelby kissed Phoebe's nose, "I do."

"Well there's a reason why she loves you so much" Rachel told her daughters, "Shelby's my Mom."

"For real?" Phoebe looked up at Shelby, "you my Momma's Momma?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, I am."

Abi looked up at Rachel, "your Momma?"

Rachel smiled, "My Momma" she nodded, "and because she's my Momma, that makes her your Nanna" Rachel explained, "but you can still call her Shelby if that's what you want to do."

"We stay here?" Phoebe asked, "with your Momma? Is nice here"

"It is very nice here" Rachel nodded, "but Shelby has another baby, bigger than you Phee, she goes to school a little way away so she only lives here at the weekend, we're going to see if we all get along this weekend and if we do then yeah, we'll stay here, if not then we'll go home when Beth's home." Rachel and Shelby had decided to skip the fact that Beth shared a father with Phoebe and the twins for the moment and just focus on her being Shelby's daughter.

"What are you thinking?" Shelby asked when she saw how deep in thought Phoebe looked.

Phoebe's brow furrowed, "you Momma's Momma?" Shelby nodded, "and you girl's Momma too?"

"Beth" Shelby said softly, "her name's Beth."

"Mumma and Bef sis'ers like me and Abi and Bekah?"

"Yeah" Shelby nodded, "they are."

"Is Beth nice?" Abi asked quietly.

"She is" Shelby smiled, "and she's looking forward to meeting you all." Phoebe tipped her head back to look up at Shelby, "yes?" Shelby gently tapped her nose.

"We have b'eakfast now Nanna?"

Shelby wanted to cry, neither girl had said anything when Rachel had mentioned her being their Nanna and she'd just assumed it was too much too soon, and she didn't mind that. "Yeah!" Bekah shrieked, the toddler having ignored their conversation as she played but her attention had been caught by the word 'breakfast', "me too!"

Shelby chuckled and smiled at Rachel, "looks like it's breakfast time."

Rachel laughed and nodded in agreement, "it looks like it is."

As she did most days, Shelby helped Rachel get everyone dressed after breakfast, "so what would you like to do today?" she asked when everyone was ready.

Phoebe shrugged, "jus' play."

Bekah shrieked excitedly, "p'ay, p'ay"

"Well that's those two sorted then" Shelby chuckled as Rachel gently bounced Seth and Jake on her lap, "what about you Abi?" she asked softly, "do you want to play too?"

She shook her head, "I colour p'ease Nanna?"

Shelby blinked back tears as she nodded, "of course you can" she looked to Rachel, "is there anything you want to do today?"

Rachel shook her head, "I'm happy to play and colour too" she smiled.

"Come on then" Shelby chuckled as she picked up Bekah and took hold of Abi's hand, "we'd better go and find Momma some crayons hadn't we?"

One thing Rachel had noticed was that, without making a big deal, or even saying anything at all, Shelby often found a way to keep four of the kids busy together, allowing Rachel to spend some time, one on one, with each of her babies, something she'd been dying to do for so long, but something she never thought she'd be able to do. She coloured with Abi for a while before helping Phoebe with a jigsaw and then playing with Bekah and her favourite toy, the shape sorter for a while too.

"Okay?" Shelby asked as Rachel came to sit on the floor beside the playmat where Jacob and Seth were both laid on their stomachs, grabbing at the toys laid out in front of them.

"Yeah" Rachel smiled, "I am thank you."

"You know, when you were doing shapes with Bekah, Phee told me I should go and see if you needed help because I'm your Momma" Shelby chuckled.

Rachel laughed, a sound Shelby knew she would never get sick of, "I managed okay this time, but I promise, if I ever get stuck on which hole the square block fits into, I promise I'll ask you for help Momma."

"Good girl" Shelby teased, "Phoebe will be happy."

"Momma, Nanna, I hungry 'gain" Phoebe walked over to them a while later, squashing herself into the space between the two women, "we have snack p'ease?"

Rachel glanced at the clock on the wall, "it's almost lunch time Phee, can you wait a little longer?"

Phoebe sighed dramatically, "I pupose so" she said, sighing again as she went back to play with her sisters.

"I don't think I need to ask where she gets those dramatics from" Shelby smirked.

"No" Rachel teased, "you're right, she definitely gets it from you."

Shelby gasped in mock shock and poked Rachel in the ribs, "I don't know what you mean!"

"Sure" Rachel laughed, "of course you don't."

Rachel didn't make Phoebe wait for long, helping Shelby make lunch just fifteen minutes after she'd complained she was hungry. There was happy chatter around the table as everyone ate but Rachel could tell that her three youngest children were ready for a nap, so once everyone had finished eating, she settled everyone down on the couch, snuggling up with blankets to watch a movie.

The twins fell asleep quickly but what surprised Rachel was the fact that Abi was the next to fall asleep, tucked into Rachel's side, her head on her Mom's chest, Bekah fighting sleep for a while before finally giving in and dozing off.

Phoebe looked from Rachel to Shelby almost an hour later, "Nanna" she finally made her decision, Abi was sleeping on Momma and she didn't want to wake her sister, "I have a drink p'ease."

"Sure" Shelby held out her hand, "are you coming? We can see if we can find some snacks too."

"Yeah" Phoebe grinned, scrambling from the couch to take Shelby's hand, "I like snacks." She turned to Rachel, "we bring you snacks too Momma" she promised.

Shelby made drinks for herself, Rachel and Phoebe before taking a packet of cookies from the cupboard, "what are you thinking about hey?" she asked when she saw the thoughtful look on Phoebe's face.

"I happy you Momma's Momma" Phoebe told her, "cos Momma make me happy so you can make Momma happy cos you her Momma and I want my Momma be happy, I not like her be sad."

"I promise I will do my best to make sure everyone stays happy" Shelby told her oldest granddaughter before cautiously asking, "do you think Momma's sad?"

Phoebe shook her head, "not no more but she was sad before. She used to cry lots after bedtime."

Shelby smiled sadly, after the conversation she'd had with Rachel the day before, she wasn't surprised by what Phoebe told her, "I don't think she does that anymore" Shelby told her, "after your bedtime Momma comes to sit with me and I don't think I make her sad."

Phoebe shook her head, "you makes her happy cos you do big snuggles."

"Like this?" Shelby teased as she hugged Phoebe gently, arms barely touching the girl.

"Nu-uh" Phoebe wrapped both her arms and legs around Shelby, squeezing her as tightly as she could, arms around her neck, legs around her waist, "like this Nanna."

"What on earth are you two doing" Rachel chuckled as she came into the kitchen to find Phoebe clinging to Shelby like a baby monkey, Shelby holding Phoebe just as tightly, they'd been gone for a while so she'd managed to slip out from under Abi to come see what they were doing.

"Me and Nanna doing big snuggles" Phoebe said as if it was obvious, "so she can give you big snuggles too cos she your Momma."

"Oh" Rachel raised an eyebrow, "is that right?"

"Yeah! You do it now Momma!"

"Don't you think I'm too big?"

"Nope" Phoebe shook her head, "you never to big for snuggles with your Momma, you say so."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "okay, okay" she walked over to Shelby who sat Phoebe on the worktop before holding out her arms to Rachel.

Rachel accepted the hug, letting Shelby hold her tightly, "do your legs too" Phoebe instructed from where she sat on the counter.

"Phee, I think I'm too big for… woah!" Rachel tightened her grip on her mother as she felt Shelby's hands on her thighs, Shelby lifting Rachel from the floor, encouraging her to wrap her legs around her waist the way Phoebe had.

"See" Phoebe giggled, "you not too big."

"You're insane" Rachel laughed, burying her head against Shelby's shoulder as she tightened her grip on her Mom, "both of you, you're both crazy."

"Yeah, but crazy's fun" Shelby smiled, the sound of Rachel's laugh still echoing in her ears as she carefully lowered Rachel's feet back to the floor, making sure she had her balance before kissing her cheek and letting her go.

"Momma" Phoebe held out her arms, "my turn."

Rachel laughed and shook her head slightly but indulged her daughter anyway, letting out a quiet 'oof' at how tightly Phoebe held onto her. "Oh" Rachel smiled as Shelby decided to join in, wrapping her arms around Rachel, Phoebe giggling as she was squashed between the two women.

"See" Phoebe reached up to gently pat Rachel's cheek with her hand, "big snuggles are the bestest Momma."

"Yeah" Rachel kissed Phoebe's head before smiling softly at Shelby, "they really are."


	14. Chapter 14

I am not kidding when I say I've been working on this chapter for actual months, I was just never happy with how it came out, but it all seemed to come together in the past couple of days!

I have a vague idea of where I'm taking this fic but I'm not completely sure of how I'm going to get there, so if you have any ideas or suggestions, feel free to let me know.

And for those of you asking about Puck, Rachel is going to ring him after the weekend, you'll have to wait and see what happens.

If anyone's still interested in reading this, I hope you like it, and hopefully the next update won't take quite so long!

* * *

Shelby ate lunch with Rachel and the kids on Friday before heading out to meet her sister with Beth. Beth's school week finished at lunch time on Fridays to allow the students who only boarded during the week time to get home at a reasonable hour. She spent a while reassuring Rachel it would be okay, that Beth would love her and her kids and that she was at home, she could do what she liked whilst Shelby was gone, she could help herself to anything and she didn't need to worry about anything.

Unfortunately Shelby's reassurance didn't work and Rachel was still worried about meeting Beth, so she decided to do something to distract herself. She got shoes and jackets out for everyone and strapped her three youngest children into the buggy that seemed to make everything so much easier, "where we go Momma?" Phoebe asked as Rachel zipped up her jacket for her.

"I thought we could go to the park" Rachel smiled, her smile turning into a chuckle when Phoebe cheered.

"Nana come?" Abi asked.

Rachel shook her head, "Nana's gone out, it's just us."

Phoebe frowned, taking hold of the buggy once they were out of the house, Rachel locking the door with the key Shelby had left and zipping it into her pocket, "where Nana go."

"You remember how we told you you're going to meet Beth this weekend?" Phoebe nodded, "well Nana's gone to fetch her."

"Okay" Phoebe nodded, "Nana and Beth back soon?"

"They'll be a little while" Rachel told her, "but they'll be home for dinner, I think Nana said we were going to have pizza."

Phoebe's face lit up, pizza was a rare treat, Rachel occasionally buying a frozen pizza when she had a little extra cash, "pizza? For real?"

"Yeah"

"Yes!" Phoebe grinned, "I can't wait."

As always Shelby met her sister at a roadside diner halfway between their houses, Beth racing across the parking lot towards her mom as soon as she saw her, "hey" Shelby smiled as she engulfed her youngest daughter in a hug, "have you had a good week?"

Beth nodded, "I'll tell you all about it on the drive, can we go now?"

Shelby laughed, "don't you want to…" she gestured to the diner, their weekly routine involved burgers and milkshakes on a Friday afternoon when Shelby picked her up, and then, on Sunday, they'd share an ice cream sundae together as they waited for Shelby's sister.

"Nope" Beth popped the 'p', "I want to go home and meet my sister and her kids."

"Okay" Shelby was glad Beth still seemed excited to meet Rachel and her kids, "go jump in the car, I'll just speak to your Aunt and I'll be right there" she handed her the key to the car.

Beth sighed, "don't be forever Mom. Please."

Shelby rolled her eyes, she'd never admit it but Beth had definitely picked up her attitude, "the sooner you get in the car, the sooner I can talk to your Aunt and be done", Shelby only able to laugh as Beth all but snatched the car key from her hand and raced over to the car.

As promised, Shelby wasn't long, throwing Beth's overnight bag into the back seat before getting in the car, "can we go now?" Beth asked?

Shelby laughed, "it's a good job I did go talk to your Aunt" she said as she pulled on her seat belt, checking Beth had hers on too before backing out of the parking space, "you left in such a hurry you forgot your bag."

Beth shrugged, "I've got clothes at home."

"You haven't got a spare ipad or a spare bear at home though have you?"

"Alright, alright" Beth sassed, "but I mean I'm meeting my big sister, I'm excited!"

"I know" Shelby smiled, "and I think she's looking forward to meeting you too."

Conversation flowed easily between mother and daughter on the drive, Beth telling Shelby about her week, Shelby telling Beth about the family members waiting for her at home.

"We're back" Shelby called into the house as she followed Beth into the hall.

"Nana" Phoebe grinned, racing out to meet her but stopping when she saw Beth, suddenly feeling unsually shy.

"Hey" Shelby smiled, sensing the girls nerves, "this is Beth" she held out her hand to Phoebe, the girl taking her hand and standing close to her, "are you going to say hi to her?"

"Hi" Phoebe whispered from behind Shelby's legs.

Beth smiled, "hey, you're Phoebe right?"

Phoebe gasped, "how you know my name?"

"My Mom told me about you."

Shelby smiled, "shall we go and introduce Beth to everyone else?" she asked Phoebe.

"Yeah" Phoebe nodded, "I know you Momma so you needsta know my Momma" she said with a nod.

"Go on then" Shelby gently guided Phoebe towards the living room, "we'll be in in a second."

"Okay Nana" Phoebe grinned before racing off.

"Nana" Beth teased, "have you got a walking stick yet?"

Shelby rolled her eyes and swatted gently at her youngest daughter, "don't be a brat, you're not too old for me to take you back to the cabbage patch I found you in." Shelby had always been open about the fact Beth was adopted. At first she'd told her the truth, that Quinn and Puck had been young, that they loved her but they didn't think they could give her the life she deserved, so they'd allowed Shelby to raise her. But then Beth had read a book about a baby found in a cabbage patch, Shelby had joked about finding Beth in a similar way, "_you were kinda cute and you weren't too stinky so I thought I might as well keep you around_" and it had stuck. Beth knew Shelby was only joking though, knew her Momma loved her more than anything, that the fact they shared no DNA made absolutely no difference to the love Shelby had for her.

Beth laughed, "you wouldn't" she shook her head, "you'd miss me too much."

"Yeah" Shelby sighed, winking playfully at Beth, "you're right, I would." She held out her arms, Beth stepping straight into her embrace, "are you sure you're okay with all this?"

Beth nodded, "I'm a little scared that Rachel won't like me but I, I still want to meet her."

Shelby kissed Beth's hair, "want to know a secret?" Beth nodded, "I think Rachel's a little scared you won't like her too."

"Really?"

"Really" Shelby nodded, "so how about we go in there, you can all meet each other and then everyone can stop worrying."

"Okay" Beth nodded, "you, you're coming with me right Mom?"

"Of course" Shelby kissed Beth's head before taking her hand, "come on."

"Momma" Phoebe grinned when Shelby and Beth walked into the room, Shelby's hand on Beth's shoulder for reassurance, "look, it's Nana, and Beth!"

"I can see that" Rachel chuckled as Abi crawled into her lap, "Hi" she smiled to Beth, "are you okay?"

"Yes thank you" Beth replied politely. "You went to school with Quinn and Noah right?"

"I did" Rachel nodded, "we were in glee club together."

"That's cool" Beth grinned, a smile Rachel was absolutely certain Beth had got from Puck. "I bet you've got loads of cool stories you can tell me so I can wind them up when I next see them."

Rachel laughed, "I'm sure I can think of something."

"Momma" Phoebe tapped Rachel's arm, "Beth's my friend."

"You've already said hi have you?" Phoebe nodded, "we'd better introduce Beth to everyone else hadn't we?" Rachel ran her hand down Abi's back, "this is Abi, that's Bekah", the toddler was playing with the shape sorter she loved so much, so engrossed in the toy that she was completely oblivious to Shelby and Beth's arrival but she looked up when she heard her name, grinning and shrieking when she looked up and saw Shelby was back.

"Hi" she giggled, pushing herself to her feet and toddling over to Shelby, holding out her arms to be picked up.

Shelby lifted Bekah to her hip, "hello to you too, can you say hi to Beth?"

"Hi" Bekah repeated, waving at her.

Beth chuckled and waved back, "Hey" she turned back to Rachel, "what are the babies called?"

"Jakey and Seth" Phoebe answered for Rachel, "they same."

"They're identical" Rachel chucked, "their personalities are completely different so it's not too difficult to tell them apart. Seth's the more laid back of the two."

"They're cute" Beth smiled, still stood right by Shelby's side.

Bekah began to fidget in Shelby's arms, surprising everyone when she reached over to Beth, "p'ay?" she asked.

"Sure" Beth took Bekah's hand as Shelby set her on the floor, "let's go play."

"Come on Abi" Phoebe reached for her sisters hand, "we play too" she said, keeping hold of her hand as they crossed the room to where Beth was sat with Rebekah.

Shelby smiled and sat on the couch beside Rachel, "I think that went well."

"Yeah. Me too." Rachel let her head fall into Shelby's shoulder.

"I hate to say 'I told you so' but it seems like you were worrying about nothing."

Rachel laughed, "yeah, I don't want to make your ego any bigger than it already is but you were right Mom."

"Say that again?" Shelby raised an eyebrow.

Rachel shook her head, "once is more than enough" she laughed when she saw Shelby roll her eyes, "Phee knows we're getting pizza for dinner, she's quite excited so you might want to order that sooner rather than later."

Shelby rolled her eyes, "I'll order it now then, but you can make me a coffee while I'm on the phone" she playfully poked Rachel's side with her index finger.

"I suppose I can manage that" Rachel let out a dramatic sigh as she stood up.

"What are you laughing at?" Shelby asked when she heard Beth chuckle and saw she was watching her and Rachel.

"You two" Beth shrugged, "Rachel's just as dramatic as you are."

"Hey" Shelby pretended to be offended as Rachel held out her hand to high five Beth. "I'm not sure I like the two of you ganging up on me."

Beth shrugged again, "better get used to it Mom, because Me and Rachel have got these five on our side too."

Shelby laughed, "you're going to drive me mad aren't you? It's a good job I love the lot of you."

"I loves you Nana" Phoebe told her, "to the sky."

"I do too" Abi whispered.

"Me too!" Bekah didn't know what was going on but she didn't want to be left out.

"I love you all too" Shelby smiled.

"Gee thanks Mom" Beth rolled her eyes.

Shelby rolled her eyes too, "you know I love you, even if you are a pain sometimes." She turned to face Rachel, "and I love you too. And I'm glad the two of you are getting along, even if it's laughing at my expense, now, I'm going to order dinner, think you can all survive for five minutes without me here to make fun of?" she asked, winking playfully to let Beth know she was joking.

"Won't even notice you're gone" Beth teased.

"Oh charming" Shelby laughed, "come on" she reached out to take Rachel's hand, "you can come with me so I know at least one of my daughters recognises my presence. Shelby led Rachel into the kitchen, "how are you doing?" she asked, wanting to check in with her, she knew how worried Rachel had been about meeting Beth, "I think that went well."

Rachel nodded, "Beth's like a complete mix of you, Noah and Quinn, it's kinda weird but in a good way."

Shelby smiled, "you're not worrying about anything anymore?" Rachel shrugged, "talk to me" Shelby said softly as she took Rachel's hands, "what are you worried about" she may be a little optimistic, but Shelby hoped that their first meeting going so well might have made Rachel agree to move in permanently.

Rachel took a deep breath, "the five of them being happy and excited and all playing nicely is one thing, but when the twins are crying in the night or the girls are up and down to the bathroom or to come and get in with me, or even you… Well that's another story isn't it? And my kids adore you, and that isn't a bad thing" Rachel said quickly, "but I guess I don't want anyone to feel pushed out, Beth's away all week so she'll want your attention when she's here and I get that, and I don't want Beth getting upset because the girls want you to play with them and I don't want the girls getting upset because you're spending time with Beth."

Shelby pulled Rachel into her arms and hugged her tightly, "I wish I could tell you that everything will be absolutely fine, but I can't. What I can tell you is that, whatever happens, we'll work through it, as a family. There are bound to be ups and downs as we try and adjust to all living together, that's to be expected, but we'll get through them, we'll find something that works for all of us, I'm not going to kick you out just because things aren't all smooth sailing Rachel, I promise that whatever comes up, we'll work through it as a family."

"Okay" Rachel nodded, "I, I know you're right, it's just a big change" she admitted, "I've been on my own for so long, I haven't… I, I feel like I'm still adjusting to having someone around who wants to help me."

Shelby kissed Rachel's temple, "that's okay, I'm not going anywhere, and I will remind you, as often as you need me to that you're not on your own anymore."

"Thank you."

Shelby was about to tell Rachel she had nothing to thank her for when Beth walked into the kitchen, "Rachel" she said before letting out a surprised, "oh" when she saw her Mum hugging Rachel, feeling like she was intruding on something.

"It's okay Bug, you can come in" Shelby smiled, "what is it?"

"One of your babies is starting to cry" Beth told Rachel, screwing up her nose as she added, "and he kinda smells bad too."

Rachel laughed, "I'll go and change him, thank you."

Shelby held out her arms to Beth once Rachel had left the kitchen, hugging her for a moment before lifting her to sit on the counter, "is Rachel okay Mom?" Beth asked.

"She is" Shelby nodded, "I was just checking in with her, and now I'm going to do the same with you, are you feeling a little more relaxed now you've met everyone."

"Yeah" Beth nodded, "I thought it might be a bit weird at first but I don't know" she shrugged, "it kinda feels like I didn't just meet them today, does that make sense?"

"Yeah" Shelby smiled, "it does."

"It's weird seeing you and Rachel though" Beth mused, quickly adding, "but not bad weird." Shelby stayed silent as Beth thought about her words, "like, Rachel's an adult right?"

"She is" Shelby nodded.

"She's a grown up but you, you're still her Mom, I mean you act like her Mom, I don't mean, I mean, she's an adult to me but to you she's your kid."

"She'll always be my kid" Shelby smiled before brushing Beth's hair back from her face, "as will you." She placed her hand under Beth's chin, gently lifting her head so she could look her in the eye as she told her, "Rachel being here changes nothing, you are just as much my daughter as she is okay? I don't want you worrying about that. There is nothing, nobody in this world that could ever take away the love I have for you."

Beth wrapped her arms around Shelby's waist and cuddled into her, letting her head fall onto her shoulder, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding as she felt Shelby's arms wrap around her, one hand cupping the back of her head, the other rubbing circles on her back. She swore her mum was psychic sometimes. She had been a little worried about her Mom's 'real' daughter coming back into her life, the niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach only growing when she'd seen Rachel in her Mom's arms.

"You are my little Lovebug" Shelby used the nickname she'd given Beth when she'd been tiny, "you are my daughter, my baby girl. You were just a few hours old when I first met you and you have been mine ever since. I fell in love with you the second you were placed in my arms, and the second I saw you gazing up at me, I lost myself in your beautiful blue eyes and I knew then that I would do anything, everything in my power to keep you safe and happy. I love you Beth. More than all the stars in the sky, and I love Rachel too, but loving her, having her here with us won't ever take away the love I have for you."

"I was a little scared" Beth mumbled quietly into Shelby's neck.

"Oh bug" Shelby kissed Beth's hair, "you should have told me. Is there anything you want to ask? Anything else you're worried about?"

Beth shook her head, "no, I think I'm okay" she said as she sat back up."

"Okay" Shelby nodded, "but you know you can always come to me…"

"Even in the middle of the night, I know Mom" Beth smiled, "I know."

"You're getting cheeky" Shelby swatted gently at Beth's thigh, "do you want to go get changed?" she asked her, "I'm ordering pizza and when it gets here I thought we could maybe put a movie on?"

"Okay. Can I shower and put my pyjamas on?"

"Yeah, if that's what you want to do."

"And will you braid my hair?" she asked as Shelby helped her hop down from the counter.

"Of course, shout me when you want me to come up."

"Okay" Beth headed for the door before stopping and turning back towards Shelby, "Mom?"

"Yes Bug?" Shelby looked up, takeaway menu in her hand.

"I love you."

Shelby smiled, happy to have both her daughters in the same house, to have them get along, "I love you too Beth."


End file.
